


Battered Rose

by vagrantBreath



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood, Brainwashing, Character Death, Clones, Consent Issues, Hypnotism, M/M, Nightmares, Reconnected Family, Vampire Keith (Voltron), the search for shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 03:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 31,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: Shiro used to be very good at giving Keith what he needed when he got like that. But Shiro wasn't there when Keith needed him... and Keith didn't know what he needed until he nearly killed Lance taking it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to take today off because it's my birthday but ahahah look where we are now with me drinking pink hot chocolate out of a Hello Kitty mug while updating. Happy Update!

He had never gone so long without red meat. Without something that bled between his teeth. Keith groaned, back hitting his bedroom wall as he slid to the floor. His mouth opened as he panted, trying to ignore how his veins felt on fire. This couldn’t be normal, he thought, dazed.

It was his last thought before he tipped over, unconscious.

  


* * *

  


Kolivan’s lips twitched at Keith’s request, looking as if resisted the further turn downward. “I can certainly look into it,” he told him. “But I doubt there will be anything. All literature on Galra bred say they will not go through two puberties. The awakening you’ve had will be all you will endure.”

”I just... want to know,” Keith muttered, running his teeth over teeth that felt like they were meant to tear open flesh. Fangs, like Kolivan’s. Like his mom’s.

”Certainly. Until then... come. Your training has been lacking for a Blade of Marmora warrior.”

”I’m not a Blade of Marmora,” Keith reminded him.

”But you are Galra, and your training must reflect that. Come.”

  


* * *

  


”Shiro- Shiro, please- Shiro, I’m so hungry, I can’t-”

”I have you. You’re okay. I have you.”

  


* * *

  


This couldn’t be normal. It had to be the Galra in him. Why his veins burned without red meat. Why he sat there, staring at the ceiling and knew he was about to die if he didn’t get some red in him, if he didn’t- if he didn’t-

His father’s voice came back to him, soft and drawling, and the memory of something delicious being put to his lips. Something he needed, right there.

But Shiro wasn’t there. And that’s what he needed. He needed Shiro. Shiro always knew what to do, always gave him a kiss after he did whatever he did that made Keith feel better. And Shiro wasn’t there, wasn’t there to give him what he needed-

Keith panted, clawing at his arms. He needed...

”Keith?”

Lance. He barely recognized the door opening and Lance coming in. Keith closed his eyes, falling forward into Lance, nose buried against his neck.

  


* * *

  


”Again.”

Keith panted, getting up. If he had ever thought Kolivan would give him an easy time, he should have thought again. Kolivan was an even harder taskmaster than Allura! Swallowing, Keith held his blade in front of him, wishing it was his Bayard, and waited. Watching.

Then struck.

Keith’s back hit the ground as Kolivan twisted, throwing him down.

”Again.”

  


* * *

  


”Shiro- shiro- I need-”

”Shiro’s not here. It’s just me. It’s just Lance. What do you need?”

”I need- I need-”

”Damn it. Lance, Hunk, we need Coran.”

”You’re right, Pidge. Hunk, go get him. I’ll stay here and try to figure out what Keith needs. Hey, Keith. Come on, talk to us.”

”Shiro, please. Shiro, Shiro, please...”

  


* * *

  


”I think he bit me!”

  


* * *

  


Keith woke up.

His head hurt, but that would go away with time. What was nice, though... his veins didn’t burn. Had he been sick or something? Whatever it was, he was fine now. Keith stretched, getting up out of bed and going to the bathroom to shower. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time.

Showering even felt different. The spray of water over his skin didn’t feel oversensitized but rather... soothing. Nice. Keith stood there for far too long once he was done cleaning himself, letting the water run over his skin. But eventually he turned it off, getting out to dry off and get dressed.

The Castle halls were quiet, but they usually were. He would probably need to go down to the training room after he met up with Kolivan... crap, Kolivan was going to be leaving to go back to the Blade of Marmora soon. His training would end. Keith bit his lower lip at the thought, heading for the bridge, looking for Kolivan and Allura. As he came close, he could hear Allura’s furious voice.

”Because you have kept what you know to yourself, I have a Paladin in critical health and another-” she broke off, seeing Keith walk in. Her body shifted, almost... wary. “Hello, Keith.”

”Hello. What... what happened while I was asleep? Why didn’t anyone wake me up?” _How_ did he not wake up? “Who’s hurt? What’s going on?”

”Kolivan,” Allura’s voice was cold.

”This is not Galra biology. Whatever the ailment, it is of Earth.”

”What?” Keith’s heart picked up, furious. Frightened. “What happened? Who’s hurt?”

”You do not remember what you did to Lance?”

Keith froze. “I- what I did to Lance-” He shook his head. That made no sense. What he did... what...

What... what did he do to Lance?

What were Allura and Kolivan so upset about?

What... what did he do?

”Please, Allura,” he whispered. “Tell me what happened. I don’t understand- I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember. All I know is I woke up feeling actually okay for the first time in a long time. I don’t even remember the last time I saw Lance. What happened? What happened to Lance? Where is he?!” Keith looked up at the two of them, pleading.

Allura’s next words were cold. ”You almost killed Lance.”

Keith froze.

No.

He couldn’t have.

That wasn’t- he couldn’t- He wouldn’t have. They didn’t get along but that didn’t mean he would have killed Lance. No, he wouldn’t- “You’re wrong. I didn’t-”

”I witnessed it,” Kolivan rumbled. “I was the one that saved your friend’s life. You almost ended it from a strange human affliction.”

” _Galra_ affliction. He never had the inclination to attack one of his own before meeting one of you!”

”Human, Princess,” Kolivan corrected, eyes narrowed. “As no Galra would willingly drink another’s blood.”

Keith slapped a hand over his mouth. He was going to throw up. He was... he was...

He...

He drank Lance’s blood.


	2. Chapter 2

Keith could see a faint mark on Kolivan’s arm. It was about... the size of his teeth. He looked away, swallowing. No matter what, it didn't change... that he had probably bitten Kolivan too when he stopped Keith from killing Lance. He had probably gotten his blood sucked too. Keith pressed his fingers against his mouth again, trying to calm his breathing.

How had he not known? If he looked back, tried to see back in his life when he would have been drinking blood and not known about it- he couldn’t see it. No time it seemed like he was slipped something different than anyone else. And he could barely remember his father-

Keith froze.

Dad.

His father had put something to his lips.

How old had he been when his dad left? No, not that. How old was that memory? Keith sat down, leaning forward slightly as he ignored Allura and Kolivan bickering, fingers still pressed against his mouth. He wasn’t that big. Geez, had he even been able to walk yet? Damn it, he wished he remembered more. He must have been able to walk. He must have.

But he remembered something familiar between his lips. Something delicious.

... something... good.

Keith shook his head. Had it been _blood_? Damn it. It couldn’t- no. It had to have been blood. That was the only thing that made sense.

Slowly, he looked up as Kolivan came closer, starting to bend to be at his level. “I can’t be a vampire,” he whispered, fingers still against his lips. “They don’t exist.”

Kolivan paused, visibly taken aback. “I am not sure what a vampire is,” he finally said. “But it does appear you have some sort of human affliction that caused you to thirst for blood. Had I not been there, the thirst would have taken your friend’s life.” He noticed as Keith’s eyes darted to his arm. “Ah. Yes, you also took my blood. You took less than I was expecting, after seeing what you took from your friend.”

”I’m sorry,” Keith managed to get out, looking up at him. “I didn’t mean- I didn’t even _know._ ”

Kolivan paused for a moment, then nodded. “It didn’t seem as if you did,” he told him. “But you appear calm and clear headed now. If we were to scan you, perhaps we may see what causes this.”

His calm tone made Keith relax, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, we could do that.”

”Come.” Kolivan stood, holding his hand out to Keith. Slowly, he took the hand, letting Kolivan pull him to his feet. Keith noticed faintly that Kolivan’s hand was warm... friendly... but it was soon taken away as the two of them started towards the med bay.

Keith ran his tongue over his teeth, feeling the sharp bite of them against the tender flesh. And here he thought that was part of him being Galra.

He looked at Kolivan’s arm, and the bite mark lying there.

  


* * *

  


It would only be normal that no one wanted to talk to him right now. Fuck, if only Shiro was there. He would have known what to do. Everything would have ended with him getting a kiss too. Everything would have been so much better.

Keith sighed, deactivating his bayard and leaving the training room. Now, not even Kolivan wanted to train with him. Well, he would kind of guess why there. He had no idea how much blood he had taken from Kolivan, or how much blood a Galra could spare before it was too much. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair, closing his eyes.

Shiro knew what to do.

Keith opened his eyes.

Somehow, Shiro knew. And he had hid it from him. How? Why? What was so important that-

”Keith.” He looked up at Kolivan’s voice. “Have you gotten the results yet?”

He shook his head. “I-”

”Come with me.” Kolivan turned, leading him down the halls. When the reached the med bay, he went over to the machine that scanned him the first time. “Here. Do you see, Keith?”

”I can’t read Altean,” he confessed. “You’d need Pidge, Coran, or Allura.”

”Luckily, I’ve already asked for Allura’s assistance,” he told him. “It appears this is genetic, from your human side. Though I may have been able to tell her that,” he grumbled. “Headstrong Altean.”

”Okay. So what does that mean?”

Kolivan sighed. “It means this affliction will require constant attention. It is not something that can be fixed.” As he spoke, he rolled up his sleeves. “We theorize that perhaps why you were so destructive was that you were starving.”

Keith’s heart pounded in his throat. “Kolivan, if you’re wrong-”

”I am not.”

Keith swallowed, reaching out to take Kolivan’s arm. He didn’t know where veins where on a Galra. He didn’t want to slice open Kolivan’s arm and have him bleed out- “I can’t-” he whispered, letting his arm go. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

”Keith-”

”I hurt Lance, Kolivan. I could hurt you now. I don’t know where anything of yours is, so I could bite down and just- open a vein and you could-”

Kolivan shook his head. “You will not harm me.”

Keith took a deep breath. “We’ll come up with a substitute. I won’t hurt anyone else.”

”Until then, you cannot allow yourself to starve.” Kolivan held out his arm again. “Eat.”

Keith looked down at his arm.

Then jumped as he heard a pod opening. Oh God. Lance. He forgot that Lance was healing here. He watched Lance stumble out, rubbing his eyes. Then he looked up at Keith and-

Smiled.

”Yo. Feeling better?”

”Um...”

”What’s wrong?” Lance blinked, looking back. “Hey. Why was I in a cryopod anyway? What happened?”

He didn’t remember? Why didn’t he-

Keith’s eyes went wide as he pressed his fingers to his mouth again, bile rising in his throat as he realized what happened. What he did to Lance.

”Hey, Keith? Keith? What’s wrong?”


	3. Chapter 3

”Uh, I don't feel brainwashed.” Lance blinked at them. “And trust me, I know what it feels like. I'm not talking all weird and stuff. I'm just me.”

”You don't remember being bitten,” Keith muttered. “You don't remember me almost killing you at all.”

”Maybe because it didn't happen? I mean, you're not the best person but you wouldn't kill me so I wouldn't have to worry about it.” Lance nodded.

”Then what about the fact you don't remember being bitten at all?”

Lance shifted, uncomfortable. “I-” He slumped, dejected.”Okay. I don't remember you biting me.”

Keith closed his eyes. He had... he did that. Messed with Lances head. He looked over at Kolivan. Damn. He had probably done the same to him. Made him want to give him blood willingly. Suddenly, he pressed his hand to his mouth, sick. He had done this to Shiro. That might be why Shiro never told him. He was brainwashed and didn't realize he was giving blood to a vampire.

He turned to leave, only to feel Kolivan’s hand on his shoulder. “Let me go,” he growled.

”You should not be this distressed,” he rumbled. “Did your father not make you aware?”

”I barely remember my father,” he shot back. “And wouldn't you be... _distressed_ if you found out you're some kind of Galra monster?”

Kolivan raised an eyebrow at that. “I would think you not a monster.”

”Yeah, well, you don't know what a vampire is,” Keith muttered.

”It is an affliction. Genetic. Even if your father did not show the same-” As Kolivan cut off, Keith stared at him. Instead of finishing the thought, he said, “Walk with me.”

As they left a bewildered Lance behind, Keith's heart pounded in his chest. What Kolivan said... did he know something? What did he know? Did he... did he know his mom? When Kolivan stopped, Keith turned to him. “You knew my dad.”

”Perhaps.”

”That means you had to know my mom. Who is she? Where is she? I-” He shook his head. “If you knew my dad, you should know what a vampire is if he told you anything.”

”After you were born, he only called it an affliction. He never used the word vampire.”

Keith felt his heart hurt at the words. “But you know something. You have to. Kolivan, you knew when you saw me I was Galra! Why put me through the trials?!” He was shaking, Keith realized as he flexed his hands. “Why not just-”

”You came from weak and cowardly stock. I had to be sure you were not your father's son.”

”Don't speak about my dad that way!” Keith twisted, throwing a punch at Kolivan’s head.

Which was caught, easily, with an unamused look. “Do not do that again.”

”Don't talk about my dad like that,” Keith warned him.

Kolivan let his hand go. “I will remain on the ship. You will need my guidance.”

Keith snorted.

”It will prove useful, Keith. I am willing to train with you, and I have some knowledge of your affliction. I will remain, as long as you need me.”

Keith fell silent. Then, quietly, “Can you help me find my mom?”

”Do you truly need your dam?”

Mutely, he shook his head.

”Then I will not search.”

”Can you at least tell me what she’s like?”

Kolivan looked away, down the hall. “Foolish,” he finally said. “Your dam made many foolish decisions that still have negative impacts to this day. But I would believe you would not be considered among the regrets.”

Keith nodded. “Okay.” At least... she didn't regret having him. Or she wouldn't according to Kolivan.

Holding out his arm again, Kolivan frowned. “Drink. You do need to remain healthy.”

The idea turned his stomach. But Keith took Kolivan’s arm, pulling it to his mouth. He didn't want to do what he did to Lance to anyone else ever again.

Keith bit down.

  


* * *

  


”Shiro- Shiro, help-”

”I thought you were feeding him!”

”Not as often as he needs... or perhaps... no. Keith. Shh.”

”Shiro-”

”Everything is now going to be fine.”

  


* * *

  


Keith woke to a muscular arm holding him close. And it felt... comforting. Nice.

He looked behind him, realizing he was on the floor of the common room, covered with a blanket and using someone as a pillow- Kolivan. He had one arm bent under him as he slept. Bandaged. As if-

Keith scrambled to his feet, running for the door. Damn it. He had done it again. He had- he- no-

He had to go. Leave. Before he brainwashed and ate anyone else. It was a stroke of luck he hadn't killed Kolivan. He just. Needed. Red. Jump into Red and go.

Then he stopped when he reached his room. They needed Red. He'd need to take-

If he left now, he would lose all chances of being able to meet his mother. Kolivan knew her. He didn't need her but- he wanted to know who she was. And maybe some day Kolivan would tell him something. Anything.

But if he left now, he would leave that behind.

Slowly, Keith went back to the common room, looking down at the still sleeping Kolivan.

Then he laid down again. It had felt nice next to Kolivan after all. Safe. Warm. He wanted that back.

Not many places were safe and warm right now.

Keith closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

”Again.”

Keith slowly pushed himself to his feet, feeling himself sway. That wasn’t a sign he was about to lose control. Unfortunately. There... was no sign. He went along, just fine, then suddenly his veins were on fire and he was gasping, crying out for Shiro.

Why Shiro? Why him in particular? Did he... Keith swallowed as he raised his Blade of Marmora sword, trying not to feel sick. Was it some kind of sick, twisted predator/prey bond? He needed Shiro as much as he had brainwashed Shiro into thinking he should give Keith his blood? Would Lance start acting this way? Start offering his blood freely because he had-

Fuck. He had brainwashed Shiro, Lance, and Kolivan. But he had to stay... as a Paladin of Voltron. Because Kolivan knew something about his mom, and he needed to know what it was. He just... needed to know something about where he came from. Even if he never met her, he just needed to know.

If he was less... good, he would have considered using that brainwashing to make Kolivan tell him more about his mom. But he wouldn’t do that. He was better than that. Kolivan would tell him about his mom of his own volition.

Keith dodged suddenly, his thoughts scattered as Kolivan attacked him. It didn’t take long for Kolivan to spill Keith on his ass, blade to his throat. “You are distracted,” Kolivan noted, his eyes narrowing. “Do you worry about your affliction again?”

”How do you know my dad?” he asked quietly. “I mean... how did you and my mom meet my father?”

”Your dam was foolish,” Kolivan said shortly, pulling his blade away. “And regrets the entire time with your father. Your father ran, Keith, leaving you in the arms of humans that had no clue of who your dam was and what your affliction was. However...” Kolivan looked over Keith as he stood. “Your dam would not regret what became of you. Unlike your father, when things grew harsh, you remained. Despite all desire to do otherwise.”

Keith looked away.

”I do not know what you are thinking, Keith,” Kolivan rumbled. “Only that it causes you great distress. What is it that causes this distress?”

”Why do you want to know?” Keith asked, his voice faint.

”I ask as a leader. Your group is only as strong as its weakest member.”

Keith nodded, closing his eyes. He inhaled deeply, opening his eyes and looking right at Kolivan. “I brainwashed you,” he said bluntly. “I made you _want_ to give me your blood.”

Kolivan fell quiet, then started to chuckle, quietly. “I have given you blood before,” he told him gently. “When you were a squalling kitten and nothing else would quiet you. I do not think at that age you would know how to affect my mind.”

What did he... Keith’s eyes turned to the blade in his hands. How Kolivan... didn’t quite hold it right, like it wasn’t something he was used to. But he had to be, he kicked Keith’s ass... “How long have you been in the Blade of Marmora?” he asked quietly.

Kolivan was quiet.

”Or... how long have you had that sword? You don’t handle it like you’ve had it for long.”

”Go shower,” Kolivan said suddenly. “It will be supper time soon.”

”Kolivan... what do you know? Tell me. I don’t care if I ever actually meet my parents, I just- I just want to know more about where I came from. I don’t remember my parents at all. I-” Keith broke off, clenching his jaw. “I just want to know.”

For a moment, Kolivan was silent. Then, he reached out, clasping Keith’s shoulder. “You will regret knowing.”

”Maybe! But I want to know. If you had any kids, wouldn’t you want to them to know you? Who you are, what you do, where they came from?”

”I have given birth and you do not know what you ask,” Kolivan told him sharply. “As my kitten would not find who I am glorious at all and may hate me for the decisions I made.”

Keith’s mind screeched to a halt. “You-”

”Shower. Eat. We will pick up here later.” Kolivan walked away, leaving Keith to stand there, watching him leave.

Then he left to shower, his mind full of thoughts. Did that mean- Kolivan wasn’t a guy? Or he was and he had the ability to give birth? Was that unique to Kolivan or were all Galra like that? What would that mean? Keith shook his head, trying to figure it out. And Kolivan said he had a child. A Galra kid, out there, that Kolivan didn’t want to know. Because if he knew the kid, the kid would hate him because of what he’d done. Gone to Earth? Or was it the whole Blade of Marmora thing? Was the kid a Zarkon sympathizer? In the Galra army?

Suddenly, Keith had a vision of meeting a Galra that looked a little like Kolivan, dressed in the Galra army uniform, fighting against them- he shivered. That wasn’t a good idea. He didn’t like it. And he now had the idea that if the kid knew he went to Earth and met with a... human? Was his dad human? Kolivan said he didn’t show signs of the same affliction, which meant... he didn’t suck blood. Maybe the gene was recessive, or being Galra activated the gene? So much Keith wished he knew. So much he didn’t know.

But... would the kid be upset he went to Earth and met a human? Knew a human baby? Keith looked down at his hands. Human/Galra/vampire baby, anyway.

What would happen? What did he know?

... why had Kolivan been on Earth? And why had he known Keith?

He wasn’t getting any answers like this.

Keith went to shower, intent on asking more questions later. Eventually... Kolivan would have to tell him something about his family. About where he came from. Just... something. He just had to hear _something._

He just wanted to know who is mom was.


	5. Chapter 5

Kolivan's words stayed with him. He had given birth... and he didn't want his kid to know him. The only thing that made sense was that his kid served in the military. Kolivan had to be at the opposite side of the war of his kid. And the thought... Keith closed his eyes as he laid down. What if his dad ran from his mom because of their view on the war? That he didn't- God. He didn't know what his dad would have thought.

What... what was he? Was he really a vampire? Kolivan said his dad didn't show signs of it. But that wasn't how vampires worked... right? Keith grunted, rolling over. He wished he knew. Kolivan knew something and wasn't telling him, and he didn't have his mom, who would definitely know.

”Paladins!” Allura's voice pulled him out of bed, groaning. Great. Probably a battleship to liberate. Keith started down to the Star Room before she could finish talking, rubbing one eye. He was _tired_.

Right outside the Star Room stood Kolivan. “What's up?” he asked, yawning.

Kolivan hesitated for a moment, then reached out and clasped Keith's shoulder. “I will tell you more of your dam when you return,” he rumbled, taking his hand away. “For now, you should return to your room and dress for battle. You will be liberating a ship. I will let your princess know you are preparing.”

At his words, Keith's heart jumped. He was going to know more about his mom. Nodding, Keith turned and nearly fled back to his room. Allura could take her wrath out on Kolivan. That was fine. He was going to learn more about his mom. And wow would Allura not be happy with Koliva but- well, she could deal with it.

Which meant she wasn't- quite yelling at Kolivan but she wasn't happy. “All the Paladins must be in the same place-” she was saying, one hand to her flight suit covered chest as she gestured with the other.

”All the Paladins must also be in uniform. The others should have also taken such time.”

”This sort of thing is often time sens-”

”Kiss him and get it over with,” Lance moaned. “Otherwise tell us what's going on.”

Allura coughed, straightening and putting both hands behind her back. “Yes, well.” She pulled up the outside display, showing the battleship Keith knew would be there. “There should be prisoners aboard,” she said, looking at them. “Your job is to free them.”

Keith nodded. They could do that. And then he'd come back and learn about his mother. He'd learn who she was. If she was a she. He'd learn something.

The approach though... he wished they had Voltron. No more than ever did they need it. Which made him wonder... this wasn't like Beta Traz. It was a normal battleship. What were they protecting? “This isn't right,” Keith muttered.

”Ya think?” Lance’s voice was sharp.

Keith ignored him. “Something's on that ship.”

”Maybe a trap? It could be a trap,” Hunk suggested.

”I'm going to find out,” Keith told them, shooting off for the ship. He could hear everyone else swearing in his ear, Pidge the loudest, but he ignored them. What was going on? What were they hiding? Was it a new weapon? They needed to know. And Keith was going to find out.

It was a bitch to find a safe place to land. But Keith found one and started in, hand near his bayard the entire time. Footsteps sounded near him and he pressed up against the wall, waiting. Listening. When they passed, he continued on. For a moment, he opened his mouth to ask Pidge what she saw, then- “oh shit.”

”Realized you ran off half-cocked again?” Lance asked, voice snarky.

”Shut the fuck up.” Maybe he should have waited for someone. Anyway, they'd be there soon and he knew where the prisoners would be. Galra ships were made the same. He could manage.

Keith made his way through the halls, quickly freeing the prisoners when he found them. He could hear Hunk over the com link having landed and coming in. Good. Now he could be a little more reck- okay. He was already being reckless. He could go look for the weapon or whatever. Keith started down the halls, holding his bayard close. As he turned a corner, he saw a Galra keeping guard. Before either of them could say anything, Keith dashed forward, forcing his blade in between the only open spot on the Galra armor. Blood ran down his blade as he pulled it free, the Galra falling dead to his feet. And strangely... not appetizing. Despite Kolivan being someone he could drink from.

All those thoughts screeched to a halt as he saw what the soldier had been guarding.

No, who.

Shiro.

  


* * *

  


Shiro. Keith stood by the cryopod, bouncing from foot to foot. It was Shiro. They found him. They-

Maybe now he'd get some answers. Why he needed Shiro so badly. What Shiro knew. He just-

Keith turned as Kolivan came up beside him. “He's back,” Keith told him, his voice full of wonder. “Shiro, he's-”

”Yes. He is.” Kolivan did not sound happy.

”Kolivan...?”

”No, it is nothing.” Kolivan turned to him. “I did promise I would tell you of your dam.”

”Can it wait until Shiro's out?” He just... needed Shiro.

Kolivan frowned but could not say anything as the pod opened. Keith went to Shiro, holding him up. With a relieved smile, Keith said “He-”

Shiro’s face twisted into a sadistic grin.

And Keith had a glowing purple hand in his intestines.

When Shiro pulled it out, the ropes of intestines came with him, half cauterized. Keith felt himself falling, dimly aware of his body. Dimly aware of a growled “Get away from my kitten!” and a laugh unlike Shiro in Shiro's voice.

Dimly aware of Kolivan's pained noises.

Dimly aware of standing. Of grabbing Shiro.

Then everything crashed down as he bit Shiro, blood filling his mouth. Everything sharpened-

And went black.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up from the cryopod was a relief after what happened. Keith tumbled into Lance’s arms, pulling away instantly to check his abdomen. He couldn’t tell due to the medical suit on him if there was a scar, but it seemed whole. Sighing, Keith pressed a hand over him, closing his eyes.

”Dude. Aren’t you going to say ‘thank you’ for me not letting you eat dirt?” Lance’s voice was worried behind the light words. “Come on. At least one ‘thank you, magnificent and handsome Lance.’”

Keith chuckled. “Thanks, dude.”

Lance gaped at that. “You have to go through near death experiences more often. They make you nicer.”

”Fuck you.”

”And now you’re back to normal Keith. I knew it couldn’t last.” Lance stretched as Keith took several steps away, looking around. “Looking for Kolivan and Shiro?”

Keith nodded.

”We’re keeping Shiro in one of those prison pods we kept Sendak in. He just lost a little blood, so he’ll be okay.” Lance frowned. “Kolivan got out of the pods before you did. If you want to find him, he’s probably talking to Allura.” He kicked an imaginary rock. “Aliens have all the luck,” he muttered.

”Lance...?”

”Nothing. Oh yeah, Kolivan said he wanted to see you after you woke up, but needed to be somewhere else while you slept. So, okay, what’s up between you and him? I mean, is he teaching you to be a better Galra, because you’re kind of crappy as a Galra. Or are the two of you gettin’ some lovin’?” Lance wiggled his eyebrows. “I know the Princess wants some of Kolivan, and I’ve seen her looking at you too.”

”That is fucking disgusting,” Keith told him, recoiling. “I don’t ever want to think of Kolivan having sex.”

Lance looked at him for a moment. “Kolivan’s kind of been your mentor while he’s been here, huh?” he asked quietly. “Taking on a dad role, huh? And now you can’t see him any other way?”

Keith closed his eyes. Did he really hear Kolivan tell Shiro to get away from him, and use the word ‘kitten’ to describe him? Was... was he Kolivan’s kid? But then, why would Kolivan say his kid would hate him for what he did? What did Kolivan _do_? “Yeah,” he eventually said. “I can’t see him any other way.”

Lance nodded. “Okay. I’ll lay off that, then. I’d be pretty grossed out if someone made jokes about my parents having sex, especially with another person. Okay. Well, Kolivan’s probably with Allura talking about whatever they talk about. You should probably go talk to them before you go see Shiro.”

Keith placed his hand on his stomach again. Why did Shiro do that? Why... fuck. That couldn’t be Shiro. Whoever it was... that was twisted. Terrible. He had nearly killed Keith. And he had heard whoever it was hurting Kolivan. It couldn’t be Shiro. It just- couldn’t.

With that thought, Keith got changed and headed down to the Star Room. And somehow, his clothes had been repaired. So they could repair clothes in space... they just needed a change of clothes now because it got old wearing the same jacket and shirt. Keith tugged his gloves into place as he headed in, hearing Allura snap at Kolivan. He... could not see what Lance did. The two of them were strong leaders, strong together, but-

”And it was thoughtless of you to get injured like that! What- what would I do without you, Kolivan?”

Whoa. Okay. Keith turned to leave, only to hear Kolivan clear his throat. “We have a guest,” he said quietly. “Keith, it’s good to see you awake.”

”I’m interrupting,” Keith told them. “I’ll just-”

Allura shook her head. “You do need to speak to Kolivan. He has told me... quite a few things that he should have said from the start.” She glared at him.

”You are aware of why I could not say them, Allura.”

She sighed. “I am. Which is why you are to say them now. I will check on our prisoner.” She left, and Keith just stared at Kolivan, shifting from foot to foot.

Kolivan cleared his throat. “You may have figured out who your dam is by now.”

”It’s you. Isn’t it,” Keith said, the words barely a question.

Kolivan nodded once. “Yes. You are... my kitten.” He closed his eyes, looking as if a weight had been released. “It has been too long since I’ve seen you,” he said, opening his eyes.

”What did you mean, I would hate you for what you’ve done?”

He hesitated. “Keith. Do you really wish to know what I’ve had to do to keep this organization from failing? From being discovered? What I’ve done to get information before I became leader?”

Keith took a deep breath. Then- “No. But I don’t think I’d hate you for it. I mean- it’s war. I think I’ve brainwashed Shiro to make him feed me his blood when I get all...” Keith waved his hands. “So you doing bad things to keep this going is... well... I guess part of what this family does.”

Kolivan reached out, cupping his face. His eyes narrowed as he stared at Keith, and Keith tried to follow what thoughts lie behind his eyes. “It’s good you are not your father’s son,” he finally said, letting him go.

”Are you ever going to tell me what Dad did to make you hate him?”

”No.”

Well. Keith nodded, inhaling deeply. He... he had his mother in front of him. “Can you tell me how you gave birth to me?” he asked quietly.

Kolivan chuckled. “Perhaps later. Come- we should check up on your friend. Shiro, is it?”

Keith swallowed. “I don’t know who that is, but it’s not Shiro. He would never hurt anyone like that.”

Kolivan turned his head, and Keith could see a shiny piece of skin along his neck. Right about... thumb sized. When he turned it back, Keith could see four more pieces of skin shine. Burn scars. His stomach turned at the sight. “Perhaps,” Kolivan said quietly. “But life among the Galra can change a person.”

”He was with them for a year! He didn’t change into that then!”

”We will see,” Kolivan told him. “Until then... my kitten, do not get your hopes up. We may have to kill him.”

Keith swallowed. Kill him.

He was starting to understand why Kolivan said he might hate him.


	7. Chapter 7

Even after learning Kolivan was his mom, he drove Keith harder than ever. Keith could barely keep up with each blow, knowing they were being pulled so he didn’t kill him but still not giving him much mercy. Breathing heavily, Keith took several steps away, his arms shaking. He just needed a moment to look, to see what was going on-

Kolivan closed the distance quickly, forcing him to block and dodge. He stepped to one side, trying to see if Kolivan would move the way he hoped he would- and felt his leg out out from under him, unable to stay up any longer after the hours of training. Keith fell, Kolivan’s blade barely missing his face as he landed on the floor. He started to get up again, his arms trembling as he pushed himself upward, only to feel Kolivan’s hand on his shoulder. “Enough. You did well, Keith.”

”Yeah right,” he panted, settling himself to sit down. “I couldn’t land a blow on you.”

”Sometimes the point is not to fight back, but to last as long as you can against the opponent,” Kolivan told him, his voice solemn as he knelt. “You may not be able to fight back, but you can keep the opponent’s attention long enough for backup to arrive.”

Keith felt a shiver run down his spine. “You’ve had to do that.”

Hesitating, Kolivan slowly nodded. “I... had to do so on Earth. When your father ran with your in your arms.”

He could almost hear Kolivan telling him his dad betrayed him. “Who helped you escape?”

”You have met them before. I was... not as experienced, and I did not want to kill anyone. Had it happened now... that would not be an issue. However...” He looked at Keith, his gaze deadly serious. “I was afraid they had you, and that I would harm you if I attacked with any intent to kill.”

Keith turned his blade back to dagger form, stashing it so he could rub his arms. “Would you have taken me with you? I mean, this is-”

Kolivan grew quiet. “I have no answer to that,” he finally said. “Seeing you ended up a part of this war anyway tells me it made no difference. But I still wish to protect you, to take you away from this, as much as I wish to push you and make you the best Paladin you could ever be. It perhaps may have been better to take you, as I could have trained you myself the entire time and you would be a stronger Paladin for it. But I cannot fall into the trap of questioning ‘what if’ for this.”

He nodded at that, taking a deep breath. It was a stupid question, but he had to know- “Do you hate my dad?”

Kolivan thought about that for a moment. “I regret the moments with your father,” he finally said. “I regret letting him into my life. I do not regret the result of our union, as he has grown into a wonderful Paladin, but the man himself, do I hate him... at times. But I was the one foolish enough to believe a union would work between a Galra and one of a planet that had no concept of life outside their universe.”

”Oh.” Keith closed his eyes. God, there was so much he wanted to ask Kolivan, and so much he knew he wouldn’t tell him. “Did you love him?” he asked, opening his eyes.

”I was in lust,” Kolivan told him, his voice severe as he stood. “And that was your last question. Stand and go shower.”

Slowly, Keith stood, still feeling his limbs shake. “I have one more question. Not about Dad. It’s about Allura.”

”I will not answer it.”

”No, I mean... do you love _her_? I mean, you’re my mom, and she’s our leader...”

Kolivan sighed. “My love life is no matter to you. Now go shower.”

It was a question he wanted to know. If Allura was dating his mom, that would mean a lot for how she treated him, and how everyone else would think about Allura treating him. They might think she was treating him better because Kolivan was his mom. But then again... no one else knew about that. Only him, Kolivan, and Allura knew. And the... Shiro thing. They were the only ones that knew. So they may be weirded out if Allura started training him harder for what appeared to be no reason.

Keith closed his eyes.

And he started to pant as his veins burned. He needed... he... he needed...

”Shiro, Shiro, I-”

But Shiro wasn’t there...

  


* * *

  


”Please Shiro, I need- Please-”

”Shh... It’ll be okay, my kitten.”

”Shiro- Shiro-”

”Why does he need Shiro so much?”

”I do not know. But bring the prisoner here. We can at least use him for something.”

  


* * *

  


_Shiro._

No. Not quite.

  


* * *

  


Keith opened his eyes, still holding onto the Shiro lookalike’s arm. This was... the first time he had woken up from something like that so soon. But... he looked down at the arm. Then up at everyone else, seeing the expectant looks on their faces. “Keith,” Kolivan rumbled. “How are you feeling?”

”He’s not Shiro,” Keith whispered, bizarrely wanting to hold his arm closer to his chest. It tasted so much like Shiro, though... “I remember what Shiro tasted like. I mean, I don’t really remember, but I kind of- At least... I know this isn’t Shiro. This isn’t what... he’s close. But he’s not Shiro.”

A thick chuckle caught all their attentions as the Shiro lookalike stirred. “Still wanting your beloved Shiro?” he slurred, half asleep. “Stop waiting. He’s dead.”

Keith felt his heart stop.


	8. Chapter 8

As little sense as it made, Keith held the lookalike’s arm close to his chest even as he hissed, “You’re wrong. Shiro’s still alive. He has to be.”

The lookalike laughed, the sound wrong in Shiro’s voice. “Why else would I be here? Why else would I be alive, with my blood inside of you? They killed your beloved Shiro to make me. You should stop bothering to look. He’s never coming back, little bloodsucker.” An unsettling smile settled over his face. “You’re such a beloved thing... maybe the Galra would keep you alive after slaughtering the rest of your friends.”

Kolivan snarled. “Leave him alone.”

”He’s right. You need to shut up,” Keith added, gripping his arm tighter. “And you’re wrong. I know Shiro’s alive. He- he has to be. I’d know if he’d died.”

The lookalike just shook his head. “You’re ridiculous, bloodsucker. You wouldn’t know what happened to him at all.” He grinned as Keith found himself growling. “You wouldn’t know that he died in intense pain making me-”

Keith let go of his arm to grip him by the throat. The lookalike still grinned even as Keith tightened his grip. “Tell me what really happened to him,” he ground out. “Tell me what really happened to Shiro.”

No words came forth from the lookalike, and suddenly Keith saw a purple glow out of the corner of his eye. Instinctively, he slammed the lookalike’s head into the ground, breaking his concentration. Then, for good measure, he did it again. Because he was tired of hearing Shiro was dead. Shiro wasn’t dead. The Galra didn’t kill him. He wasn’t-

”Keith.” Kolivan’s hand pulled his off the lookalike’s throat, and he realized he had been slamming his head against the floor with each thought. He looked down at what only looked like Shiro, shuddering. The lookalike was dazed enough that when Coran came over to slap some cuffs on his and drag him away, he went without a fuss. Slowly, Keith turned to Kolivan, closing his eyes. “Come with me.”

Good idea. Keith went with him, walking away from everyone else. Away from how he had just heard Shiro was dead even though he knew it couldn’t be true. He could feel it in every part of him: Shiro was alive. He could feel it. He could- was this the reason he kept calling out to Shiro? The twisted reason Shiro’s blood calmed him? Lance’s and Kolivan’s had done so to a degree, but it just hadn’t been... he didn’t feel like he did now. He felt _satisfied_ now. Kolivan’s blood had been the closest, and he had a feeling it was because of the fact Kolivan was his mom and had given him blood before. But Shiro...

”He’s alive,” he whispered as he walked with Kolivan. “Shiro has to be alive.”

Kolivan didn’t answer at first. “You have a strange bond with this human,” he finally said. “I’m not sure what it would be about.”

Keith took a deep breath. “I mean, did Dad say anything-”

”Your father barely said a word about your affliction. If I knew anything about you-” Kolivan broke off, stopping as a look of frustration crossed his face. “I want to know so much about you,” he told him. “Already, I know you are not your father’s son. I wish I knew more than that. And I wish I knew how to help you. But I cannot. I cannot tell you why you have this bond with this human, what it is, how deep it goes, and if you are correct in saying Shiro is alive.”

The words made Keith stop. He was right. They knew nothing, and the only person who knew gave Keith up when he was very little. Keith might be wrong in saying Shiro was alive. He might be reaching, hoping.

But he couldn’t stop hoping.

”I just-” Keith took a deep breath. “I just feel it, okay? He’s alive, out there, somewhere. We can find him. He’s out there. I just- want to know-”

Kolivan clasped his shoulder. “I understand.” He pulled his hand away, sighing. “But we still do have that... well, it sounds as if he is a clone. Do you feel you will need it for blood?”

”What?”

”Do you need it for blood? Or else I will dispose of it.”

”You can’t just go killing-” Keith felt the words choke in his throat. The clone looked exactly like Shiro. He couldn’t- “He looks like Shiro, Kolivan. I can’t-”

”That would be why I would be the one to do so,” Kolivan told him gently. “You are soft and human enough to be protected as such, and my hands are already dirtied enough that it would not be an issue to make him silently disappear.”

”I can’t let you do it, Kolivan! I don’t care if you’re my mother, I can’t-”

Kolivan cupped his face. “I will do what it takes to keep you safe,” he told him. “There is much I cannot do as you are a Paladin of Voltron and that necessitates you to be in danger more often than I care for you to be. But what I can do to remove a threat, I will. And if that mean disposing of a clone that has already tried to rip your intestines out, I will do so. But if you require the clone for blood, I will allow you to drink it dry to remain strong.”

”I can’t do any of that,” Keith whispered, shaking. “I’m not... I’m not that kind of person.”

”I know.” Kolivan sighed. “You are... very human. Which is where we are at odds. But don’t lose that human nature, my son.” He stroked his face before stepping back. “Please do not became a Galra monster such as myself. I believe... that is the one good thing your father may have done.” He looked back towards where the clone had been taken. “I will hold back on disposing of the clone, as I know you do not approve of it. And I am aware you will not kill the clone and may not drink from it again. We will... see where we go from here.”

Keith nodded, taking a step back. He knew Kolivan was just looking out for him, but... fuck. That was a very intense solution he had been offering. And taking out a prisoner like that... was that the kind of thing the Blade of Marmora did? Take out threats just like that? Or was that something unique to Kolivan, as a leader?

”Kolivan?” Keith looked up at him. “Would you have taught me to do all of these things if I had grown up in the Blade of Marmora?”

After a moment, Kolivan nodded. “I would have taught you to kill. To fight dirty. To survive. To lose all of the morals you currently have to fight the war we are in.” He sighed. “To perhaps... become just as bad as the ones we are fighting for the liberation of those under their rule.”

Keith closed his eyes, digesting that. Just as bad... then he opened them, looking at Kolivan. “You do what you do to protect others. They do what they do to protect themselves. That’s a pretty large difference.”

”I suppose so,” Kolivan murmured.

Keith didn’t know what else to say. It just all sounded so dumb in his head. What could he say to Kolivan that would make him realize that it was all okay? That he knew things were different between them but- he knew Kolivan did things that Keith never- that Keith hated what Kolivan did but didn’t hate Kolivan-

Instead, he just hugged his mother.

And heard him inhale sharply before hugging him back.


	9. Chapter 9

”So that’s our new goal,” Keith insisted, looking between the two of them. “We have to find Shiro.”

Allura and Kolivan looked at each other, and Keith could see the doubt passing between them. “Perhaps you should take some time before you say such things,” Allura suggested. “We can certainly look, but if we make it our goal... we could easily be disappointed. The prisoner may be right. He may be dead.”

Keith grit his teeth. He just knew- why wouldn't they believe him? “Allura, Kolivan... you know I wouldn't just say these things-”

Kolivan shook his head. “You would not. But you are also emotional. You wish to have your second heart back. That means you may see him anywhere... including where he may not be.”

Second heart? Keith shook his head, setting that aside to ask about later. “That doesn't mean he can't be there. And we can't stop looking just because you think he can't be there. We have to think he can be. Allura, can you imagine what it would be like for him if we left him to the Galra longer than we had to?”

Allura bit her lip. “I can imagine, Keith. However.” Her gaze sharpened. “I cannot allow myself to think softly. After Zarkon’s defeat, things did not go the way we wished them to go. Our presence is still required. We cannot fly off for diversions such as love, as much-” here, her eyes darted to Kolivan. “As much as we’d rather do so.”

”You can’t tell me if something happened to Kolivan, you would just leave him,” Keith pressed. “You’d do something to find him.”

”I would be holding you back from finding him,” Allura told him coldly. “I am quite aware of the bond the two of you have created. That is, unless it was obvious your dam was not locked away behind a trap.”

Keith settled back. “You think me thinking Shiro’s still alive and out there is a trap. You think I’m leading you into a trap.”

”Unwittingly, and placed in your mind by the prisoner,” Kolivan rumbled.

”It’s not because of him that I think Shiro’s alive! It’s...” Keith placed a hand to his chest. “Something inside me tells me he’s alive. I feel it.”

”As if a second heart beating inside you.” Kolivan’s voice was thoughtful.

”Explain that, Kolivan,” Keith cried out, dropping his hand. “Neither of you have explained a damn thing to me. You’ve let me just... go on, blind, and now I’m falling because you haven’t explained or guided me for anything here. What does ‘second heart’ mean? What does any of this mean? What am I? Am I really feeling Shiro or- What is going _on_?!”

Kolivan’s hand touched his shoulder. “You don’t get the questions you ask because many of them I don’t have answers to,” he told him gently. “Second heart... Allura, do your people have a concept of mating and exchanging hearts?”

”No. It’s sounds very romantic for a Galra concept,” she said, curious. “Is that what happened to Keith and Shiro? Why Shiro dominates Keith’s mind during his bloodlust?”

”Keith.” Kolivan placed a finger under Keith’s chin and tilted his head up to look him in his eyes. “You must understand I do not know for certain you have mated with him, or if this is truly what happened. I do know this did not happen between me and your father, and I have seen this in other Galra... but if you two mated and exchanged hearts, it is the most intense version I have ever seen. It’s nearly unrecognizable until this point. So do understand I did not hide this from you on purpose. I merely did not recognize it.”

”Then what is it?” Keith spat at him. “And we didn’t- we never had sex. We-” He... it crossed his mind at points, but they never did. It just never-

”It does not take an act of the flesh to create an act of love, Keith. One can happen without the other. That is something that I had to learn myself.” Kolivan sighed, dropping his hands. “You appear to have at least exchanged hearts, for all the talk of feeling he’s alive. It’s only... I cannot stand around and tell you that I can be completely true in saying you have exchanged hearts and that is what you’re feeling... or that you may have exchanged hearts, and he is not lying behind a trap.”

Keith closed his eyes. He couldn’t deny that Kolivan was right. Everything told him that Shiro was alive... but Kolivan was right. He could be jumping to conclusions, trying to believe Shiro was alive when he wasn’t. Or Shiro could be the bait for a trap. Taking a deep breath, Keith opened his eyes again. “We have to at least keep an eye out,” he whispered. “I can’t- I can’t deny I feel _something._ Even if it’s not our goal, I just... I want to at least look.”

”The only lead we have is a clone that said to make him, Shiro was killed,” Allura told him. “Do you still wish to proceed?”

He nodded. “I think the clone is lying, or doesn’t know everything. I think-”

The world blurred around him. Blurred? Was that the word? It was gone. There was no world, but suddenly there was a world, but not.

Sound. Lots of sound. Of explosions.

A voice. Didn’t he hear it before? But it was harsher now, more mature.

And pain. Pain, his arm hot and moving and the world narrowing to nothing.

The voices mixed with others, a female and male one that seemed more... immediate. Familiar. But he could feel a need - was it his own? - and now his veins burned- he was moving-

Sound. Motion.

Blood.

Keith fell.


	10. Chapter 10

He could feel a hand on his cheek. It was furred- it was human- it was cupping his cheek as an urgent voice called his name- no, not his name but yes, his name- Keith slowly opened his eyes, looking around languidly. Trying to pin down where he was, if he was... where he thought he was. It looked like the Castle of Lions, but... blood... Keith looked up, seeing Kolivan’s relieved face.

”My kitten,” he breathed. “What happened, kitten?”

Keith tried to talk, but only a croaking noise came forth from his throat. And he didn’t know what he would say anyway. He had... what was that? What had just happened? He couldn’t fathom was that could have been. Keith licked his lips, tasting blood. Had he bitten someone? Slowly, he sat up, looking around. His eyes caught on the dazed form of the cloned Shiro, holding his bitten throat- okay. That explained that. But... Keith looked down, seeing Kolivan’s arm smearing blood across his clothing. Who all had he bitten?

Lance. Had he bitten Lance again? Keith stood slowly, feeling as if he was moving in syrup. Had he bitten... no. That taste in his mouth wasn’t Lance. But he wanted to. He wanted Lance in his mouth, the sweet taste of his blood joining the rest of them- Keith turned to look at Kolivan, not sure if he should feel horrified about it all.

God. What was happening to him? He wasn’t sure he should feel horrified about what looked like almost ripping someone’s throat out and eating his mother.

Kolivan took his arm, leading him gently to sit down. As Keith sat, he looked over at the dazed clone, watching it pull his hand away and look at the bloody palm. They should take care of that. They should-

Heal it. Make it all better. And not put Keith’s mouth back on it and suck it dry.What was happening? What was wrong here? Why was he suddenly acting- exactly like the vampire he was? Did it have to do with what he just felt? Keith pressed a hand over his heart. It was like... hearing Kolivan say the words made him understand what he was feeling and suddenly... felt it a lot more keenly. Deeply. And... felt himself _more._ But he had heard... voices. One he had heard before, somewhat familiar, calling... a name that was his own but not his own. Shiro’s? Had he been hearing through Shiro’s ears?

Had Shiro been hearing through his? Hearing Allura and Kolivan calling his name?

... had he just heard Shiro’s death? No. Keith narrowed his eyes. He knew it more than ever. Shiro was alive. He could feel it just like he could feel his heart beating. Shiro was alive, fighting with someone he had at least met. That could be so many people, though. They had met so many people in their journey to save the universe. Shiro was comfortable with them, but that meant nothing.

Keith leaned into Kolivan, closing his eyes. It felt so nice and soft like this. Warm. Almost made him want to forget how he wanted Shiro between his teeth, to own him for his-

His eyes popped open as he stood sudden, his heart beating wildly at the thought.

”No,” he whispered thickly. “No, no, no-”

”Keith.” Kolivan reached out, taking his wrists. “Tell me what is wrong.”

”Shiro isn’t my second heart,” he whispered. “Or- he might be, I don’t know. But that’s not it. That’s not why I keep thinking he’s alive. I know he’s alive because he’s my _prey._ I want to _own_ him.”

A disturbed look crossed Kolivan’s face. “I- see.”

”It’s the vampire in me. It’s why- it’s why I call out for Shiro. I want what’s _mine._ ” Keith closed his eyes, shaking. “Make it stop, Kolivan. I don’t want to own anyone. I-”

He felt Kolivan hug him. “Shh. We will work with this too.”

Keith leaned into the hug. They would. Everything would be okay. They would work with it.

His eyes fell on the clone, and felt the same urge to have him between his teeth. He was just enough like Shiro that he wanted him. He wanted to have him forever, have him as... prey. As a continual source of blood to feed him, to make him strong. Wonderful.

Keith closed his eyes.

Everything would be okay.

  


* * *

  


It always disturbed him a little how Lance didn’t remember after that Keith had sucked his blood. He supposed it could be worse and he could be freaking out that it had happened, but... he just plain didn’t remember opening up a vein for him. Which made it worse in a way. He wanted Lance to remember at least the bite.

Keith sighed, letting go of his arm and snapping his fingers in front of Lance’s face. “Hey. I’m done.”

”Hm?” He shook his head. “Sorry, I spaced out. Already? Man, you’re fast.”

Keith rubbed his head. “Yeah. I’m done.”

Lance paused, then shook Keith’s shoulder. “Yo. Something the matter?”

”I found something really bad about Shiro,” Keith told him. “So I’m a little... out of it.”

”Everything’s going to be okay. I mean, it’s you and Shiro. It’s pretty ridiculously obvious you two love each other.” Lance stretched, standing. “So no matter what the problem is, you’ll work it out. You’ll have to.”

”You don’t even know what the problem is.”

”Well, does it have to do with Kolivan being a dad to you and Shiro not responding well to Galra? Though, I think he’d be okay with Kolivan being an in-law. He seems like he likes Kolivan.”

Keith coughed. “Yeah. Kolivan as an in-law.”

Lance eyed him. “... dude. Don’t tell me Kolivan is literally an in-law. Like you mom’s brother or something.”

”Kolivan is my mom. I guess all Galra can give birth or Kolivan’s trans or something. He won’t explain it. I guess it’s really personal to him.”

Lance gaped for a moment before closing his mouth, blinking. “Well... at least you met your mom like you wanted to! Well, still, Shiro seems like he kind of likes Kolivan. He’d be okay with Kolivan being your mom. So what else could it be?”

”I don’t want to talk about it,” Keith growled.

”Geez, fine. Just remember whatever it is, you’ve got three other people who’d be willing to listen to you, and your mother, and Allura and Coran. So you’ve got a lot of people here to talk to.” Lance clasped his shoulder. “And you and Shiro will work it out. Just talk about it. It’ll be okay.”

Keith nodded as Lance left. He was right. Everything would be okay. He just... needed to find Shiro and talk to him about it. He just...

Needed to bite Shiro.

Keith closed his eyes.

Bad Keith. No.


	11. Chapter 11

”So is anyone else disturbed?” Pidge asked, pushing her plate of goo away.

Keith knew she was looking at him, and at the bandage on Lance’s arm... but Lance had consented this time! Hadn’t he? Fuck. He wasn’t sure anymore what was going on. Did he force a bite on the clone too? Or when he pulled the clone out, did he... no, he would have had to force it. Even brainwashed was forcing it. Which meant... he wasn’t sure if he had forced Lance, or had used his brainwashing to force him into it. The thought made the blood and food goo sit wrong on his stomach.

”About what?” Lance asked, taking a healthy bite of goo. Which was good. He had just lost blood. He needed it.

”You ‘donating’ blood! You remember how you couldn’t remember Keith biting you last time. Did you remember this time? I mean, did you even-”

”Whoa.” Lance held up a hand. “It was consensual biting, Pidge. I’m okay with him biting me from time to time in certain-” here, he glared at Keith. “Locations.”

”I wouldn’t bite you anywhere else other than the wrist,” Keith snapped at him.

”Except the first time where you sliced open my throat.”

Guilt forced Keith’s gaze away. “If you have so many rules, why don’t you just say I can’t bite you?” he managed, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

”Dude. Because we’re stronger together. I’m not going to let you go all... bloodlust and not be able to be good in battle because of it. We need you.” Lance reached out, patting his shoulder. “You’re a good Paladin. You might be a terrible vampire, but you’re a good Paladin.”

Normally, the words would make him snort and roll his eyes. Lance trying to hold onto any reason to say he hated him, to not commit fully to being his friend. But now... Keith stood. He was a terrible vampire. He hurt everyone around him, and Shiro... he wanted to have Shiro as his prey. Keith started to clean off his plate as he heard Hunk hiss something to Lance, and Lance deny it. But Keith didn’t pay attention, and just left, hanging his head slightly.

He was a vampire. All his instincts told him to act like one. But...

Keith turned, heading towards Kolivan’s room. He wanted to talk to Kolivan. Just... about something. Anything. When he got there, he knocked, waiting. No one answered, and he knocked again.

Was he... with Allura? They hadn’t seen them at dinner-

Keith’s eyes went wide at where his mind went next. _With_ Allura. Oh. No, he did not want to think about his mother having sex with anyone, ever. Cheeks burning, he turned and left, heading back to his room. It was possible Allura and Kolivan weren’t having sex, that they were just talking about leader stuff, but... it seemed more likely now than ever.

Maybe he should consider it a good thing, Keith thought. Kolivan had been so tightly wound. And now he was able to talk freely to his son and... well, be with someone else? He didn’t know if him and Allura were falling in love, doing that “second heart” thing, but... they were definitely getting along. And it should have been a good thing. They were getting along.

Keith opened the door to his room and entered, the door instantly sliding shut behind him as he closed his eyes. Carefully, he leaned back against the door, letting it support him. Carefully, he prodded a tooth, feeling his skin break even with the gently prod. Fangs... he had fangs. His mother’s Galra fangs... he used to suck blood.

He slid to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. “I don’t know what to do, Dad,” he whispered. “Why did you have to run? I need you. I need you...”

His father didn’t materialize in front of him, with answers.

Keith buried his hands in his face and felt his heart twist.

  


* * *

  


The mission went well. It went...

Well.

Keith looked away as he heard Allura taking charge, getting alliances taken care of. He wasn’t needed now. But he couldn’t just go back to the Castle now, just in case something went wrong at the last second. Even though he wanted to go back and open up the clone’s veins, have something much like _Shiro_ as his own. The clone would probably even let him at this point, as brainwashed as he was by Keith’s vampire nature.

Which was why Keith didn’t want to do it.

Kolivan came forward to talk with the leaders as well, offering the Blade of Marmora’s skills. Keith watched, ready to go back. After a moment, Kolivan turned, looking at Keith, and moved to beckon him.

An attendant at the leader’s side suddenly moved, grabbing the sword off her leader’s side and slamming it into Kolivan’s stomach. “Galra scum! We don’t need your kind here!”

Keith barely heard the others screaming their approval, or the leader trying to calm things down. He barely heard the crunch of his armor as it shattered, or how the other Paladins started swearing, immediately.

What he did hear was the girl’s lovely screams as he grabbed her and bit her.

She hurt his mother.

She’d die for that.

”Keith!” He felt Allura yank his arms away, forcing him to drop her- further than he expected. “We need to go!” She pulled him towards his Lion, and he hobbled after her, the shoes not fitting as well as they should. Kolivan could move, could run- he probably just needed a stay in the cryopod. He’d be okay.

He had still been hurt.

Keith wanted to kill the entire planet for daring to hurt his mother.

  


* * *

  


The clone started to laugh as Keith came in, closing in on him. “Turning more Galra, are-”

Keith hauled the clone to his feet and dug his fangs into his neck, blood splashing over his tongue.

Someone would die for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [whalechief](http://whalechief.tumblr.com/)! The artwork in this chapter is a wonderful piece I commissioned from them and they blew it out of the park!
> 
> Also, starting tomorrow, I will be travelling. I will have my phone on me which will have Google Docs, so I will try to write and update, but I may not get anything done until Sunday/Monday.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not going to write while I travel," I say as I pull out my phone, open Google Docs, and the file for this fic.

“Keith? Keith?”

He looked up at Lance, barely seeing him. All he could see was Shiro’s bloodied face going slack, taste the blood in his mouth- Keith turned, looking over to see Shiro laying there, not breathing. Not moving. What... what had he done? Why... why had he done it? Shiro...

“Keith!”

He didn't look away from Shiro. He had killed Shiro... he had... the blood still was thick in his mouth, wonderful, great...

Keith looked up as Lance shook him. “I don't know why,” he whispered. “I killed Shiro and I don't know why. Shiro's dead and I don't know...” 

“Shiro isn't dead,” Lance told him fiercely. “You didn't kill our Shiro. You killed his clone, the evil Shiro. Come on, man. You wouldn't kill one of us.”

“I almost killed you,” Keith said, trying to retort and coming out plaintive. “I can kill. I ju-” His voice failed him, and he closed his eyes. He had killed someone outside of battle. Not just that; he had killed someone that hadn't fought back. If he needed any more proof he was hypnotizing people, that was it. “I just killed someone,” he finally said once his voice returned, opening his eyes. He steeled his voice, looking up at Lance. “I'm going to kill more of you. You're all just... blood bags to me.”

“Listen, purple ass,” Lance said, scowling. “That means no-”

“You're brainwashed. Why should I listen to you?”

“Because I'm not brainwashed! Why do you keep saying that?!”

”Because you are, dumbass!” Keith knocked Lance’s hands away, looking down at him, angry. “You let me bite you whenever and you're rationalizing-”

Keith's head snapped to one side as Lance’s fist connected with his cheek. “Did that shut that idiocy up?” Lance hissed. “Did it? I'm not brainwashed. You're not that good. I'm not-”

”What are you doing, then?” Keith hissed, glaring at him. “You're rationalizing me _killing_ someone for no reason.”

”I-”

”Are you going to rationalize when I bite you and nearly kill you again?” Keith asked, his voice deadly quiet. He leaned in close, brushing fingers over Lance’s throat, a part of him stirring at the way Lance’s eyes slid closed. _Mine_ , it whispered. He cupped Lance’s head, feeling his claws-

He froze, pulling back his hand to look at it. Somehow, he hadn't realized- that was why nothing had fit. How had his hand grown so much? How had he not realized he was looking _down_ on Lance? Damn it. He had... what had happened? What had he done?

Keith lowered his hand, watching Lance sway, his eyes hooded. “Go away,” he whispered. “Before I kill you like I want to.”

Lance left. 

Keith let out a long breath. Lance just let him order him around after putting his fingers on his neck. He was hypnotized. Damn it. Keith closed his eyes, then opened them to look at the Shiro clone’s body. The clone hadn't fought back. He had just let Keith kill him. 

What would he do when they found Shiro? When he went into the weird bloodlust thing and he wanted Shiro? God... he wanted- he wanted his _dad_. He'd explain what was going on. What he was doing. But at the same time, would his dad even know? He didn't know if his dad would even know anything about him. It was possible he'd know why Keith wanted Shiro, but he didn't know if he'd know anything else considering he didn't have bloodlust. Would he even know anything about the needing Shiro with not needing blood, if Kolivan was right?

Keith stared at the body. 

And went to go find someone to clean it up. 

  


* * *

  


Keith couldn't stop thinking of things differently after looking in the mirror and seeing a younger, more lithe Kolivan staring back at him. He was... Galra. His mom- dam was Galra. So much... he was so far from human he should have realized it before. He should have realized so much. 

He was also a vampire, with the urge to have a human between his teeth. That was probably why Kolivan didn't fall for his mind games. That, and he was his dam. He wouldn't fall for his son’s hypnosis. It was good he wouldn't. Someone shouldn't fall for his shit. 

Keith stood from his bed, going to find his dam. No one had answers. But at least Kolivan would be a comfort. He went to Kolivan's room, knocking. When he answered, the look on Kolivan's face grew shocked, then fond. “You make a very handsome Galra,” he rumbled, letting him in. “Are you well?”

”That’s my question,” Keith shot back as he entered. “You were just stabbed. Did everything heal okay?”

”I healed well,” Kolivan assured him. “And you?”

”I... killed the clone,” Keith admitted. “For no reason. I feel so... not good about that.”

Kolivan frowned. “You are not the type to kill for no reason. Is everything okay?”

”No!” Words started to burst free. “I'm a vampire and I look more Galra now and I killed a clone of a man I- I- I think I can say I love and I'm messing with minds without-”

Kolivan rested a hand on his shoulder. “You were always a Galra with this affliction. You can learn how to control your mind ability. The murder of the clone... I apologize that I could not save you from that fate. You are becoming more Galra than I can anticipate.”

”I almost treated Lance like my personal blood bank,” Keith admitted. “I almost... want to.”

Kolivan sighed. “I suppose I am the wrong one to speak to about this,” he told him. “As I see nothing wrong in learning and embracing your heritage. It would prove useful later.” He stopped, looking hard at Keith. “I do suppose you hate me for seeing your teammates so callously. As tools rather than friends.”

Keith closed his eyes. He wasn't wrong. 

But... Kolivan was his dam. He just couldn't actually hate him at all. He just... wanted to. 

Except he didn't sound wrong. 

When did he stop being human... 


	13. Chapter 13

He couldn’t shift back. No matter how hard Keith tried, he remained a tall, lithe Galra. That kind of creeped him out, that he was almost as tall as Kolivan now. Not quite as tall; his eyes met Kolivan’s nose. But he was definitely taller than Lance now, and definitely taller than Shiro too if the clone was any proof of that. It didn’t feel right to be just a little shorter than Lance, and now be so much taller than him. And it definitely didn’t feel right for Lance not to comment on it at all.

But at the same time... Keith shifted his gaze across the group, across Allura, Coran, Kolivan, Hunk, Pidge, to... Lance as they ate, the other Paladin laughing at something Hunk said. Lance was his... meal. He shouldn’t be worried.

That was wrong. Lance was his friend. Not his meal. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. Lance was not- Damn it. Keith closed his eyes, taking measured breaths. But at the same time, that was a human thought, wasn’t it? And as he could tell by just looking in the mirror, he wasn’t human. The fangs along said he wasn’t. Keith opened his eyes, looking over at Lance.

He... probably needed to eat. He didn’t feel like he did, but he probably should. Despite... despite the person that would keep him from going completely crazy being dead. The clone had been just enough to help him. But without Shiro, without his true prey... Keith stood. He couldn’t get over thinking like that. He didn’t want to think of someone as his one true _prey_. Shiro, he... he _loved_ Shiro. And what happened if one day he got angry again and killed the real Shiro like he killed the clone?

As he left, he could hear someone following him. Thankfully, by the almost silent footfalls - steps that would be silent had his hearing not sharpened when his form shifted - he could tell that wasn’t Lance. “Kolivan,” he said quietly, turning.

”You have been angry since we spoke last,” Kolivan noted.

”Not angry. Just...” Keith shrugged. “I’m... still coming to grips with the fact that I’ve never been human and these human morals I have about not eating my friends don’t... don’t really go with what I am. It’s... it feels weird to say it’s a little easier now that I look like a Galra. Looking like you almost is like... making all the human fade away.”

”Perhaps some of it is you coming to grips with your affliction,” Kolivan said thoughtfully. “But perhaps some of it is having the new influx of Galra hormones. It should fade. You should start seeing things the same as before.”

Keith nodded. “And if it doesn’t?”

Hesitating, Kolivan placed a hand on his shoulder. “Keith... are you saying you don’t want it to equal out the way it used to be?”

”I do!” Keith glared up at him. “What if we find Shiro and I get angry again? I don’t want to do what I did when you got stabbed and kill him! My dam shouldn’t be more important than the man I love.”

”No one should be important enough not to die... or be killed,” Kolivan corrected him, the words cold despite his gentle tone. “I should not be too important not to die or be killed by anyone, especially by your own hand if the need arises. The same is true of Shiro. This is war, and-”

”And I am a Paladin, so that is unacceptable! I can’t do that shit!”

Kolivan paused, then smiled. “You still have some human in you. Good.”

”I’m not human,” Keith muttered. “I never was.”

Kolivan made a disgruntled noise. “I suppose you are not.”

”You really like me remaining as human as possible,” Keith said, looking up at him. “Why?”

”It was...” Kolivan hesitated. “It was one thing of your father I did enjoy. His humanity. I suppose I may be pushing on your something you aren’t. I apologize.”

Keith looked away. He wasn’t human... Kolivan had acknowledged that. And he wasn’t... he didn’t have to remain human. He didn’t have to do any of that human stuff. Because he wasn’t.

But he was raised human and it made him feel better to play the part to a point.

”I want to be human... or as human as a non-human can be,” Keith told him, looking back at him. “I was raised human. All of it just... feels right. I just have to also balance the fact I want to just eat the humans with that.”

Kolivan smiled warmly. “Of course.”

Nodding, Keith licked his lips, jamming his hands into his new pair of pants. His gloves, bizarrely, had fit, but they had to figure something out for the rest of him. At least Allura had simple black clothing that wasn’t meant to be fashionable but functional. “Okay.”

”Change, Keith. You are thinking too much. You need to train, let your mind empty and focus on not getting hit.” Kolivan mussed up his fur, then paused. “I never thought I would have the chance to do a thing such as that,” he said softly. “My son.”

Keith smiled. “I never thought I’d meet my dam.”

  


* * *

  


More prisoners. Keith opened the door as Hunk escorted them out, ignoring how they looked at him with fear. Some of them looked at him with awe - a Galra working with the Paladins of Voltron. But he was tall. Galra. Of course they didn’t like him. At least the armor and flight suit could be repaired and adjusted for his new form.

Each cell block opened, and each prisoner was released. They were being taken back to the Castle so Allura could take them to a nearby friendly planet. It all just... worked the way it should. Pidge, of course, checked each cell for her father, any hint of her brother coming by. But nothing.

”There’s one cell that I can’t look into,” Pidge said, worried. “Keith. Can you go check? You might need to use your Galra-ness to look in.”

”Got it.”

”It’s the last cell on the block.”

He was almost there. Quickly, he ran over, seeing the door. He looked in-

And felt his heart stop.

Shiro laid there, curled up in a shaking ball in his tattered prisoner clothes.

Keith opened the door quickly, going to him. “Shiro- Shiro-”

Shiro looked up at him. “N-no, no...”

”I’m getting you out of here. You’re safe now, Shiro.”

”W-who’s Shiro?”

Keith froze. “Who... you are. You’re Shiro.”

”I... I’m just... Made. I was made. I’m not-”

No... it couldn’t be... it...

Keith took a deep breath. “Come on. It doesn’t matter. You’re coming with me. You’re safe now.” He helped the... new Shiro clone up, helping him down the halls. “Guys. I have another Shiro clone. I’m bringing him back to the ship.”

”Are you sure this is a safe idea?” Allura asked.

”He’s scared. I...” Keith sighed, looking over at the stumbling clone. “... I think it’ll be okay.”

He hoped it would be okay.


	14. Chapter 14

”So are we going to collect all the Shiro clones?” Lance asked as Hunk passed the newest one a steaming mug of what they called Altean Hot Chocolate. It didn’t quite taste chocolate, but it was comforting enough to pass. “I mean, I’m up for it. Get them all somewhere safe.” He hesitated here, eyeing Keith. “Well, that... I mean...”

”I get it,” Keith said tiredly. And he could still feel the previous clone between his teeth, the wonderful taste on his tongue. He looked at the clone, wondering when he would start feeling the uncontrollable urge for Shiro again. Keith sighed. “I’ll ask him.”

As Keith came close to Hunk and the clone, both of them looked up with surprise and some fear. Of course the clone would look at him with fear, considering he looked exactly like a Galra right now, Keith thought, uncomfortable. “Hey,” he said, looking between them. “I uh... need to tell the new guy something. About me and Shiro.”

”Oh.” Hunk nodded, but didn’t move. “I’ll stay here so he has some support.”

”Wh... I mean, what... who are you? What are you? You can’t be Galra.” The mug in the clone’s hand shook. “You... you save me from being taken to where I’d be broken down to nothing but quintessence. No Galra would do that.”

”I’m a Paladin of Voltron,” Keith assured him. “I wouldn’t let anyone go through that.”

”But you’re still going to kill me.”

”He won’t do that,” Hunk told him, glaring at Keith. “ _Will_ you?”

”I might have to hurt you,” Keith said. “You... you’re the clone of another Paladin, Takashi Shirogane. And I- I’m only half Galra. The other half of me...” He took a deep breath. “The other half of me is a vampire. I drink Shiro’s blood.”

The clone looked down at his mug. “You’re going to kill me for my blood, rather than my quintessence.”

”I’m going to try not to!” Keith exclaimed. “I just... Look, I’m going to try not to hurt you, okay? I have Lance and Kolivan to go to if I need it. I just... there’s something about Shiro. If I have to, I promise, it’ll be with your permission.” He took a deep breath, trying to catch his eyes. “I won’t hurt you.”

The clone took another sip of Altean Hot Chocolate. “This is good.” He looked between Hunk and Keith, then closed his eyes. “You want to hurt me like the Galra did,” he told them, not opening his eyes. “I can’t-” He shook his head. “Don’t. Don’t hurt me.”

Keith’s chest ached at that, and he nodded. “I won’t hurt you,” he promised. “I told you, I won’t drink your blood without your permission. If that means I won’t ever drink your blood, then I won’t. There... there are other things I can do.”

”You-”

He smiled a little. “We’re taking you to a safe place where you’ll never be hurt again. And you’ll never have to see me again. Just a few more days.” Keith turned away, closing his eyes.

Everything would be okay.

  


* * *

  


The clone left them safely, and Keith felt something gnawing at his stomach. Something... terrible.

Within a day, he was on the floor of the common room, grasping for Shiro, for his perfect prey-

  


* * *

  


It felt so comforting to wake in Kolivan’s arms. He hadn’t be able to do so most of his life, and now to have his dam here, keeping him safe, felt so... nice. It just kind of sucked that this happened after Keith broke, needing his prey. But now Keith was warm, safe... fed... he was good.

If only he had ignored the clone and just sucked his blood anyway.

Keith closed his eyes.

That wasn’t very human thinking. But then again, he wasn’t human. He should just embrace it and keep the next Shiro clone as his own personal blood bag. That was something he should do. Keith looked at his clawed hand dully, sighing. He should just... be the damn vampire he was.

But the problem with that was he was also a Paladin of Voltron. He needed to be moral. Good. Maybe... maybe that was human? Maybe it was just being a Paladin, being a good force for the universe. But that’s what he had to do. He had to be good.

Keith snuggled into Kolivan, feeling him stir behind him. “Hey,” he whispered as Kolivan nosed his neck.

”Hello, kitten,” Kolivan rumbled as they sat up. “Are you feeling better?”

”I am.” Keith crossed his legs, letting his arms rest over his thighs. “Thanks.”

”You are welcome.” Kolivan sighed. “You did not drink from the last Shiro clone?”

”It’s not really a human thing but... it’s a moral thing. I’m a Paladin of Voltron. I can’t go around hurting the people I’m supposed to be saving. He didn’t want to donate. So I’m not going to hurt someone who doesn’t want to be hurt.”

Kolivan blinked. “And if it happens that you must?”

Keith rubbed his arms. “I don’t want to think about that.”

”Will you be able to live with yourself if what happens is the worse?”

He didn’t want to think of it that way.

But Keith closed his eyes, forcing himself to think that way. To think of having to kill a sweet, scared clone like the last one because of being hungry. To save himself.

”I’ll have to,” he whispered. “I’ll have no choice.”

Kolivan just looked sad at his words. “I understand.”

  


* * *

  


The next Shiro clone was a woman.


	15. Chapter 15

The clone grabbed his arm in her prosthetic hand, turning to slam her flesh elbow into Keith's stomach. Bile rose as she let him go, and he felt some relief they hadn't felt fit to give her the same prosthetic that the original and first one had. But she had one, and she could use it. Slowly, Keith stood again, unsteady on his feet. Oh, how she could use it. She was as strong as Shiro... maybe even stronger. 

The thought didn't sit well with him. Why were they making stronger clones? Was the one they took to freedom stronger too? Keith signaled for a break and she changed her stance, relaxing. “Something wrong?” she asked, curious. 

“You're... really strong,” he panted. “Are all of you like this?” 

She nodded. “I'm one of the more successful ones, since I'm as strong as I am and I've killed over fifty of the weaker ones despite my data corruption,” she said casually, making Keith look away. “But I'm still corrupted and I was still taken from the facility to be made into quintessence.” She looked at her prosthetic, sighing. “I'm glad you found me.” 

“Do you regret having to kill?” Keith asked quietly. 

She didn't speak, which said volumes. 

“Would it be better for the universe if I just kill you now?” Keith asked, his voice rough. “So you don't go on a killing spree?” 

“Try it, Galra,” she spat, lifting her prosthetic. “I want to live. No matter what it takes. I will never regret doing what it takes to live.” 

Keith turned his head away, gritting his teeth. He couldn't fault her for that. Kolivan was telling him to do the same. “What are they doing to you?” he asked, looking back at her. “Why are you being asked to kill your fellow clones like that? Why are you considered a failure? What’s going on?” 

She closed her eyes for a moment, visibly collecting her thoughts, before opening them and looking at him. “I don't know. All I know is they want to make something, because I was close to it.”

Keith nodded, feeling a chill and not sure why. “Have you told this to Allura and Kolivan?” 

She nodded. “Along with the location of the facility. All I asked in return was to be dropped off at the nearest supply station. I guess we'll be there soon.”

Keith hesitated. “Hey. About before... if it's to save your own life, I mean I get it. I'm... I'm a vampire. I drink blood to survive. I don't like to hurt others but it's part of what it takes for me to survive. I won't go out of my way to do it, though. So, I mean, if you kill to survive... you do what you have to.” 

She eyed him. “Blood?” 

Keith nodded. 

“Huh.” 

“Actually, before you leave...” So awkward, Keith thought. “Shiro’s blood is the best for me and you're the closest thing to him right now.” 

“You insult me then ask me to donate blood. I have to admit, that takes some guts.” She smiled though, holding out her human arm. “I'll punch you if you take too much.” 

“I'll be careful.” 

  


* * *

  


He could still feel that corruption she had talked about in his stomach. She had still been delicious before she left for her own life, but that data corruption... it soured his stomach. 

Keith looked at his helmet, sighing. Would they ever find Shiro? Or would it be this never ending line of clones? Would they continue to clone Shiro until they got what they wanted, then kill him? Were Shiro’s days numbered? Fuck, had they ran out before they got there. Was Shiro...? 

Keith put his helmet on, going to find his dam. When he found Kolivan, he stood there for a moment, watching him pull Allura into a kiss. No, he couldn't bother Kolivan with his petty problems. Not when... not when he held Allura like something precious right in front of him. Keith left them, looking for someone else. But everyone else would be getting ready for the mission... 

“Keith?” 

Except Lance. 

Keith turned. Looked at Lance. 

Lance had the neck of the flight suit pulled down before Keith even took a step, letting out a soft breath as Keith dropped his helmet, took him into his arms, and bit him. 

  


* * *

  


The facility was heavily guarded. Pidge had to take him in on Green. But once they were there, the two of them worked quickly. “Which way?” he asked, looking around a corner. 

“Straight ahead. But it looks like it's through the vat room. So there'll be half made Shiros there.” 

Keith grit his teeth. “Can I take them offline?” 

“Excluding the ethical question of if it's taking another's life, an innocent’s at that, by doing so, do you want to bring down the alarm?” 

His jaw clenched harder. 

“I want to too,” Pidge told him softly. “But we have to think logically here. And we can't fight all the Galra on the ship. Just get Shiro and get out.” 

Keith nodded, following the path to the vat room. And it was, as he expected, very disturbing. Bits and pieces floated, half made Shiro everywhere. The urge to smash it all rose, but Pidge was right. He had to stay the course. 

Then he looked up and saw- 

Shiro. Standing at the other end of the room. Exactly how he remembered him. Keith smiled. “Shiro!” 

Shiro opened yellow eyes. 


	16. Chapter 16

This wasn’t Shiro.

Keith’s back slammed straight up as the thought hit him. The being in front of him wasn’t Shiro. It looked like another clone, like... like they might have fused Galra blood with Shiro’s. Those eyes were- were Galra eyes. Were _Keith’s_ eyes. He opened his mouth slightly, unable to say anything, unwilling to break the uneasy silence between them. The uneasy almost... truce.

The clone tilted his head, still guarding the door. Keith looked behind him, then at the clone. Shiro had to be behind the door. He had to. Keith opened his mouth again, then shut it, unsure how to say it. Finally, he said quietly, “I’m looking for my friend. Is he behind that door?”

The clone did not move.

”If he is... I don’t want to have to go through you. But I will if I have to.”

A wide, anticipatory smile crossed the clone’s face.

”We can take you away from here,” Keith told him, almost begging him to listen. “Take you somewhere safe. Just let me get Shiro.”

”Why would I want to be anywhere else?” Keith felt himself shivering at the clone’s voice. If he had thought the first one was evil, oh no. That one was just an asshole next to this voice. Every syllable that dropped from his lips was pure darkness, the desire to destroy wrapped up in each breath. “Why wouldn’t I want to wrap my hand around your throat and crush it, watching you slowly suffocate to death?”

Keith swallowed. Someone with Shiro’s face should never say things like that. “You don’t have to do that. We can take you somewhere where you aren’t forced-”

”I’m not forced, _traitor_ ,” the clone hissed. “This is my destiny.” The hand lit up- oh God, they had given him a prosthetic rivaling Shiro’s. Keith looked over at his face, seeing a twisted smile cross his face. “He calls out for you, Red Paladin. But he’ll never see your face again. At least... alive.” With those words, he rushed forward, pulling his hand back briefly to strike.

Grunting, Keith dodged, bayard already in his hand. He felt it transform into his sword as the clone turned, the hand leaving a deadly purple line in its path. Keith dodged again, then raised his sword to block another strike. The sword stood up to the attack, and Keith breathed a soft sigh of relief at that. He hadn’t thought it would, considering. They broke apart, and the clone eyed him, taking him in. “I don’t want to kill you,” Keith told him one last time, knowing his words were falling on deaf ears. “We can stop this now and you can find a life outside the Galra.”

”Rather interesting a Galra’s saying that,” the clone mused. “But then again, you are a traitor, Red Paladin.” He shook his head. “I will kill you or die trying. And even if I die, your blood will run quite beautifully down these walls in return.”

Fuck. Keith shivered. But he had made his choice. He raised his bayard, ready.

It wasn’t until the clone came for him again that he realized he made a mistake. He barely moved out of the way in time, watching the clone smirk. The realization he was going to die here hit him, and Keith swallowed.

He wasn’t going to die here. He needed to get Shiro.

Keith moved to attack, quickly having to switch to defense as the clone took his unprotected left side as an invitation and attacked. Each strike backed him up until he was flush against one vat. The clone smirked as he struck for Keith’s chest, Keith just barely managing to knock the hand aside with his bayard and kick him away. “Guys, I-”

The words died in his throat as the clone managed to grab one arm, the hand crushing through his armor as he was thrown to the side. Keith hit a vat, hearing something crack as he slid to the ground. He hoped to God it was the vat he heard. Slowly, he stood, only to dodge quickly as the clone reached for him again.

He needed the others. “Guys! I need help. I-”

The clone hit him in the chest, sending him flying. And this time, he knew that crack was his armor. Thankfully not his ribs, though, but he could look down and see the indent where the clone had hit him. Damn it. He needed to be more careful. Keith stood, dodging the next strike. He couldn’t call for the others. It took too much of his attention. But he couldn’t-

A slice of purple filled his vision and Keith winced, flinching back as he raised his bayard. But he only heard the clone gurgle, stumble back. Keith looked over, and saw...

Shiro.

Angry, in pain... but clear eyed.

”Don’t you dare touch my Keith.”

Keith looked at him, then at the angry clone. Shiro rushed forward, quickly slamming the clone against the wall as Keith dropped his helmet, coming up behind him, teeth coming straight for the clone’s neck.

He honestly did not feel bad when he felt the clone’s pulse stop.

When Shiro dropped the body, Keith turned to look at him, relieved. “Shiro, is that really... are you really...”

Shiro touched his face. “Geez,” he laughed a little, breathy with pain. “Guy’s gone for a little bit and all of a sudden his friend grows a foot and starts looking like an alien.” He winced, and Keith moved to hold him. “We should go,” he told him quietly. “I had to kill a few guards to get here.”

”Yeah, of course,” Keith told him, holding him tightly. Shiro was back. He’d know what to do. He’d...

Keith looked at the body.

He knew what Keith was. He’d be able to at least explain a little more about what to do there.

”How long did you know I was a vampire?” Keith asked quietly as they started down the halls, looking for any guards.

Shiro didn’t answer.

”Shiro?”

”Keith... what are you talking about?”

Keith went cold. “You... just let me kill one of your clone with my teeth. Drinking his blood. I used to drink your blood all the time.”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about, Keith.”

Oh God.

Keith closed his eyes, feeling bile rise.

Oh God.

Not Shiro too.


	17. Chapter 17

Pain. Despair. Blood- 

Keith woke, tasting his own blood in his mouth. Sad he could now tell that, he thought cynically. But what he had dreamed about... was it Shiro's dream? Was he dreaming of his captivity? Keith had already felt something once. Sharing dreams would just fall right in line with the rest of it. He sighed, licking his mouth clean. No matter what, he wouldn't know anything until Shiro was out of the cryopod. 

Which should be soon. Keith perked up slightly as he peeled off his clothes in preparation to shower. According to Coran, he should be out today. If he showered and got down there soon, he should be able to catch him exiting. Keith ran for the shower, scrubbing himself quickly and throwing his clothes back on, barely taking time to dry off. He needed to see Shiro, to see his... 

Keith stopped, taking a deep breath. He should just say it. He wanted to have Shiro by his side, ready to be bitten. It was true he loved him, but he just... could not deny wanting to own him as his prey. He just had to admit it. Shiro was not his lover, at least not right now. No matter how much he loved him. No. He was his prey. 

And that just made Keith sigh. 

He had to remember he wasn't human. That this was probably normal for vampires. Because it probably was. He just had to remember it and embrace it. Just... embrace who he was. 

All he could hope was he wouldn't kill Shiro. If he did that... Keith pressed clawed fingers to his chest. He would have to live with the fact he killed Shiro for the rest of his life. And he didn't know how long he could live without Shiro’s blood. Lance and Kolivan kept him going, but he still had moments where he needed Shiro when he hadn't drank from a clone for a while. Would his body still be able to continue if he didn't drink from Shiro for a protracted period of time? Would he die if Shiro died? He had been able to live for years without Shiro, so that told him he would be okay, but... now he was Galra. What if that changed everything? 

Keith closed his eyes briefly before starting on to the med bay. He'd just have to not kill Shiro no matter what. Not take that risk. And he'd be okay for a while. He had a lot of Shiro clone blood. That stuff was enough like Shiro that he would be fine. 

Disappointingly, Shiro was getting out of the cryopod when Keith got there. He looked up as he came close, smiling. “Keith.” 

Keith's heart swelled. “Hey. Welcome back.” 

Shiro laughed a little, tired. “Yeah. Mind taking me back to my room? I'm really tired from everything that happened.” His smile deepened as he reached for Keith, Keith taking his hands in return. 

“Come on,” Keith told him, pulling him close. He smelled so... Shiro. Fuck, he had missed that. He had missed... Shiro. 

As soon as they got back to Shiro’s room, Keith turned to him, cupping his jaw. The kisses before were barely remembered, lost in the bloodlust, but this one... Shiro pressed him up against the wall, making a needy noise. 

Keith answered the noise with one of his own as he pressed off the door, moving to Shiro’s bed, hands moving to strip Shiro as they went, still kissing. 

  


* * *

  


“They were trying to recreate what I was in the gladiator pits,” Shiro told them, looking at them all seriously. “They wanted the Champion back, and as someone they could manipulate. Someone loyal.” 

“So who I killed was it,” Keith said. “The clone they wanted.” 

Shiro hesitated. “There might be more. My data is still out there. We should look around for more clones.” 

“That is not a bad idea,” Allura said. “We do not want more evil Shiros about. And if they managed what they were trying... it may even be able to overpower our Shiro. We must end this, once and for all.” 

Keith nodded. He didn't want anymore evil Shiros. But a part of him... wanted the clones. Food supply. He closed his eyes. 

Bad Keith. 

  


* * *

  


Shiro wouldn't be alone with him. He needed to eat soon, blood, and Shiro was busy with Kolivan and Allura- why- he- he needed- Shiro- 

“Holy shit! Wasn't Shiro taking care of this? Lance, wipe that dopey look off your face and get Shiro. Now!” 

Shiro- why didn't Shiro- 

  


* * *

  


Blood. 

Shiro. 

... almost. 

  


* * *

  


“His memories have a hole of you drinking blood too.” 

Keith continued to stare out the window, watching the stars. The clone sighed, moving up next to him. “They gave me all his memories, hoping that was the missing link for being the Champion,” he told him quietly. “But they didn't realize I'd inherit memories of emotions too. Memories of you guys.” 

“How long were you going to let me think you were Shiro?” Keith whispered. 

“Not much longer. Keith, I- they made a mistake letting me have his memories. They let me remember why he loves you.” 

Keith blinked hard, hands flexing. 

“I think in my own way... I fell for you too, in the short amount of time I knew you.” The clone sighed. “Everything I've been telling Allura and Kolivan is to lead you to the real Shiro. They know that. It’s be a hard battle, Keith. And you’ll need to be strong.” 

He looked over at Shiro as he pulled the collar of his shirt down. “I already took your blood.” 

“Take more.” The clone reached out with his free hand, taking Keith's hand. “You were stronger when you killed the other clone.” 

“I would have to kill you, then.” Keith couldn't do more than state it as fact. He... he would have to kill him. 

The clone tilted his head, silently recognizing this outcome and welcoming it. Keith took a deep breath, pulling the clone into his arms, and bit. 

Kolivan found him sitting in front of the window, stroking the body's hair and watching the stars silently. “My kitten?” 

“We’re going to find the real Shiro now.” 

Kolivan hesitated. “Yes. The body... do you-” 

“I’ll take care of it in a bit. I just... need a moment.” 

“Of course.” 

Keith closed his eyes, still tasting the clone’s blood in his mouth as the body in his lap continued to cool. 


	18. Chapter 18

“Keith isn't talking. He's doing the no talking thing. It's scaring me.” Lance didn't sound like he was joking as he sounded over the com link. “Hey. Man. Communicate here.” 

Keith ignored him, hands gripping Red’s controls. Shiro was kept in the prison ahead. They were going to get him. He gripped the control sticks harder, feeling the clone’s blood buzz in his veins. He was going to get Shiro. This was Shiro, for real. It absolutely had to be. There was no way it couldn’t be Shiro.

”Hey.” Lance started to sound more than a little freaked out. “Keith.”

”Calm down,” Keith growled. If Lance was brainwashed, this would be a good enough time to use it against him. He did not need Lance freaking out in his ear. In all truth, he really didn’t need Lance. All he needed was Shiro. But that was the predator in him speaking, looking for his prey. When Lance grew quiet, Keith watched the prison come closer. Good. Stay quiet.

”Keith, we’re going to have to have a talk about brainwashing and consent,” Hunk said, worried.

”Later. Shiro now.”

”Yeah, that’s not disturbing,” came Pidge’s voice.

He ignored them. They didn’t understand. He needed Shiro. What Shiro was to him... he needed it. He... Keith closed his eyes briefly, then opened them, looking out at the expanse of space in front of him.

It was time.

Keith’s entire world focused to getting to the prison. It didn’t matter if anyone followed him. It didn’t matter what else happened. He just had to get there. Keith dodged around the angry fighters, letting the others engage them as he headed closer. It would have worked better if they could have used Green, but there were sentry craft far enough out that Green’s cloak would have run out long before they got there. And there were just enough of them that no one felt comfortable trying to get close before deploying Green. Another option was a shuttle craft, but no firepower on those. And Allura did not allow any of them to go out without firepower considering they were getting Shiro. No, it was their Lions, and fighting while they were out. And they would be able to take care of them without him, Keith reasoned as he landed. The fighters didn’t look too difficult.

It didn’t matter at all. He flew into the Galra sentries, sword, claws, and fangs first. Shiro was all that mattered. He needed Shiro. That was all- That was all he needed. A part of him worried that he had lost his remaining humanity as he slammed a Galra against the wall, skewering him on his sword. But he wasn’t human. He had never been human. He was a vampire, a Galra, the farthest thing from being human. He was a killer.

Human. That was the last thing he was.

The only thing keeping him from biting the last Galra happened to be his helmet and the fact he actually needed it. Instead, he shook him off his sword, breathing heavily. Slowly, he turned to the nearest door, placing his hand on the lock, waiting for it to open. When it didn’t, he snarled, slamming his hand on the lock. “Pidge,” he growled.

”You zoomed off and left us behind. Can’t exactly get there!”

Keith snarled into the com link.

”Dude, calm down!” Hunk told him, his voice starting to grow thin with fear. “Look, there has to be a way to where you want to go. I mean, there’s always more than one way around things.” There was silence, then a horrified “Don’t blow it up!”

”I’m not going to blow it up,” Keith assured him, eyeing the lock. Maybe it was genetically locked so only certain Galra could open it... he turned to the nearby guard, pressing his dead and cooling hand against the lock.

The door opened.

Shiro looked up from lying on the floor, bleary eyed. Then he closed his eyes again. Keith took off his helmet, lifting Shiro’s chin. “Look at me.”

Immediately, he did.

Keith leaned in, biting him just enough to taste his blood. He had enough of thinking he had Shiro, and it was just a clone. He wanted to know right away if he had the real one.

When the right taste hit his mouth, the correct taste of Shiro, untainted...

Keith held him close, feeling a sob rise in his throat. “I’m getting you out of here,” he muttered. “I’m getting you out of here. I’m getting you out-” He held him tighter, kissing his cheek, forehead, anywhere he could reach. “I’m so sorry it took me this long, Shiro.”

”Who... Keith?” Shiro blinked. “You’re... Galra.”

He laughed a little, pressing his forehead against Shiro’s. “We have a lot to talk about.”

  


* * *

  


”Keith, may I speak with you?” Kolivan said, the words barely a question.

Confused, Keith looked up from where he was holding Shiro. His Shiro was back. His prey. His-

” _Now,_ kitten.”

”Someone’s in trouble,” Pidge muttered. “And come on. I need to check his arm, make sure everything’s okay. He’ll still be here.”

Keith grumbled, but finally got up, walking with Kolivan. “What’s up?” he asked once Kolivan stopped, turning to him.

”Have you told him what you have learned?”

”I-” Keith took a deep breath. “I will. When he’s better. He’s kind of- out of it right now.”

”You may wish to leave him alone for a bit. Your mind abilities do not help there.”

Keith bared his teeth at Kolivan, then subsided. He was right. “Kolivan... what happens if he doesn’t accept me like this and I have to use my mind abilities to _make_ him let me drink from him?” The thought started to gnaw at him now that he was away from Shiro.

Kolivan grew quiet. “I hope it doesn’t come to that,” he finally said. “As that is a line I would not ask you to cross. I would rather you prioritize your survival over his comfort, but your state of mind falls along with that. As it is...” He sighed. “It is a hard question. As a Blade of Marmora, I would use the mind abilities to ensure I could still operate. However... even as I say that, I think of having to use them against Allura...” He shook his head. “It is a question you have to answer yourself, Keith, as I don’t have the answer.”

He nodded, closing his eyes. Neither of them did.

And the only way they would find out would be for Shiro to finally know the truth about Keith, to know he had been brainwashed and used for his blood. That Keith had considered him his prey to the point he would be in bloodlust if he didn’t have him.

He opened his eyes.

”I can’t tell him.”


	19. Chapter 19

Keith’s bayard went flying as he dropped to one knee. Damn it. He still couldn’t beat Kolivan. He now understood what Kolivan had been trying to instill in him, but it would be nice to at least land a hit on him! Slowly, he stood, watching Kolivan. If he decided that he wasn’t done, and to rush him- but Kolivan stood still, waiting for Keith to retrieve his bayard. “Your thoughts are scattered,” Kolivan noted, still not attacking again. “What is wrong?”

Keith shrugged. “It’s... I’ve drank from Shiro recently. He didn’t realize it again.”

”You know that will happen.”

He did. And that he would have to get used to it. He was used to it, when he had Shiro in his arms and everything was perfect. But away from Shiro, away from his prey... it was almost as if his conscious spoke up. The part of him that said this was wrong, that Shiro needed to know. But... would Shiro even really _know_ if he told him? Every time he tried to tell Lance that he had been brainwashed, Lance brushed it off. Would Shiro do the same? And if he didn’t... would it become nonconsensual bloodsucking as Keith pulled him close without realizing it so he could open a vein when he didn’t want to? So many questions, and so many that would have bad answers if he followed them.

”I understand your hesitance to tell him,” Kolivan said. “But I believe it would be better to tell him as it would be controlled as to how he learned. The consequences of such an action we can handle from there.”

”Are you saying you’d help me deal with this?” Keith asked, looking over at him.

”Yes. I am your dam, after all. I am meant to help you as often as possible.” Kolivan smiled a little at that, sighing. “And if I had been there for you instead of your coward of a father, this conversation may have ended up differently. Now. Go tell your leader what is happening. Make him at least aware of it.”

”And what if he’s like Lance? He won’t listen to the fact I’m brainwashing him?”

”At least he heard it from you first. Go.”

Keith nodded, turning to leave. Then, he hesitated. He should probably wash up first- No, talk to Shiro. He needed to know. But... fuck, Keith couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t tell him that he was brainwashed, and watch him possibly not understand. Watch him possibly ignore it. Or watch him... watch him outright reject him. He might not even want Keith to be a part of Voltron anymore if he knew he could do that. If he knew he could bite someone and make them do his bidding.

He shuddered.

Voltron was the best thing that had happened to him. He couldn’t let that go.

He couldn’t tell Shiro.

Instead, he went to clean up. Once he was done, he went to find Shiro, the predator in him wanting to make sure his prey was where it should be. He entered the Star Room, seeing him talk with Allura. The urge to grab Shiro and drag him away rose, and Keith wasn’t sure if it was something somewhat carnal inside him, or the urge to eat him. He watched them instead, sure he couldn’t tell Shiro. If it was anything like Lance, he wouldn’t believe anyone when they said he was being brainwashed anyway.

Everything would be okay.

  


* * *

  


Keith’s breath washed over Shiro’s neck as he straddled his lap. He could feel Shiro’s heat against him as his lips pressed against skin, suckling gently. Shiro groaned, holding onto his hips as Keith scraped fangs of his neck.

Suddenly, Keith was on his back, Shiro’s Galra hand pulled above him, lit brilliantly. He glared down at him, the human hand holding him down by the throat. “Sh-” Keith tried to get out, clawing at his arm. He couldn’t- he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t- couldn’t calm Shiro down-

”Stop trying to pretend you’re Keith,” Shiro growled. “I felt those fangs. He wouldn’t try to hurt me like this.”

”I-”

Shiro’s hand tightened on his throat. “Don’t even try talk your way out of this, Galra. What have you done to make the others think you’re Keith? No, don’t even answer that.” He shifted, his hand ready to strike, the hand on his throat easing as he did.

”I’m a vampire!”

That made Shiro pause. “You- I-”

Keith looked away. “I... you’ve let me drink your blood ever since I met you. I’d go into some kind of bloodlust and you’d take care of me.” He closed his eyes as Shiro sat up slightly. “I’ve still been drinking your blood. And you haven’t known because you’ve been brainwashed. That’s a thing I can do.”

”I think I’d know-” Shiro started before Keith laughed, bitterly.

”Lance says the same thing,” he told him. “I bit him when you weren’t here and now he freely offers it up without realizing it. And now you won’t listen either...” Keith took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to tell you think because I was afraid you’d do this,” he told him. “That you wouldn’t believe me. And you don’t. Do you still think I’m a Galra spy that just wants to hurt everyone here?”

”I- do the Galra even know what a vampire is?

Keith shook his head. “Kolivan called it an Earth affliction. He had no idea what I meant by ‘vampire.’ And that the Galra would never willingly drink another’s blood.”

”How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

”Do you trust Kolivan?” Keith shot back. “He would know if something was wrong.”

Shiro fell silent for a moment, then shook his head. “You’re not a vampire,” he said finally. “But you’re not Keith. Get out of my room.”

Slowly, Keith stood. Out of all the things Shiro could say... the brainwashed words hurt, but not as much as the insistence that he wouldn’t do such a thing and he couldn’t be Keith because of it. And... Shiro didn’t want to see him because of it. “Okay,” Keith whispered as he left.

Okay.

  


* * *

  


He wasn’t leaving his room. He needed Shiro, but- Shiro didn’t want him. He-

His veins burned, but-

Shiro didn’t want him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, okay, time to go to bed."  
> /Forgets to refill sleep meds  
> "Oh, okay, time to do anything that keeps my attention. Ooh, writing!"

Don’t call for Shiro. He didn’t want to be around Keith. He didn’t- He didn’t think Keith was-

But Shiro was his prey, the only thing that would-

Don’t answer the door. It was going to be Lance, pulled in by his brainwashing. He shouldn’t let that happen. He shouldn’t-

Don’t-

Someone tilted his head back, pressing an arm to his mouth. A trickle of blood ran into it.

Keith bit, unable to stop himself.

As he closed his eyes, he felt someone pulling him into their arms, and start purring.

  


* * *

  


”You must speak with Shiro.”

Keith shook his head as he stood, wiping his mouth. “Kolivan, you don’t understand,” he said, turning to him. “The last time I did that, Shiro almost _killed_ me. He doesn’t exactly think I’m me right now. I don’t look like Keith, and I tried to bite him while we were fooling around.” He looked at his dam as he stood, and said hurriedly, “I mean, we weren’t going to have sex at that moment or- or at least we didn’t plan-”

Shaking his head, Kolivan held up a hand. “Your sex life does not interest me, Keith. Whether you have it or not is your own choice and not mine. However, what does worry me is that Shiro tried to kill you.”

”Mm.” Keith nodded miserably. “When I tried to bite him, he thought I was- I don’t know. A random Galra. Has Shiro come to talk to you about... anything? Who I might be? I mean, I _told_ him Galra don’t drink other Galra’s blood! And that you would know!”

”He has not.” Kolivan turned thoughtful. “And did you speak to him about your mind abilities?”

”Yeah. He’s like Lance. He doesn’t think he’s been brainwashed.”

Kolivan made a rumbling noise deep in the back of his throat. “That is not good,” he said, frowning. “Keith...”

”I don’t do this on purpose, Kolivan!” Keith felt the words escape him in a powerful punch. “Do you think I want Lance to want to give me blood and not realize what’s going on? Do you think I want Shiro not to know I’m drinking his blood?”

”I have seen you use it against them,” Kolivan reminded him. “When you were focused on regaining Shiro, I did overhear you using the bond you have with Lance to make him quiet. Allura did assure me that was not normal for the two of you. While you do not brainwash on purpose, you must learn what you are doing, how you are doing it, and when to do it.”

Keith hunched over slightly, shoulders coming up. “Shiro doesn’t want anything to do with me. I-”

”Then begin with Lance.”

That... sounded like a good idea. Keith nodded, latching onto that. It was a place to start. He could start by realizing what he was doing with Lance. Then he could... he could free Shiro.

Keith looked at his hand.

... even if it meant Shiro would completely reject him.

No. The vampire in him snarled at that. He wouldn’t free Shiro. He would just not manipulate him. Shiro was _his._ He always would be his.

Keith took a deep breath. He was also a Galra. And if his dam was any indication, it was possible for a Galra not to be obsessed with someone. However... “Once you find your... second heart,” he said quietly, building into a question, “do you... do you feel the urge to... not let them go? Ever?”

That made Kolivan go quiet for a moment. “Is that how you feel about Shiro?” he finally asked.

Nodding, Keith inhaled deeply. “Yeah.”

”I assume you also speak as a predator.”

Keith nodded again.

”Perhaps not as intense as you’re thinking. It is... love, Keith. Not obsession.”

Not obsession. Keith let out his breath, nodding. That was... he was a Galra. Galra didn’t do this. He may be a vampire but he was also Galra and he had to balance that against his vampire instincts. And that meant Shiro could be free, no matter what the vampire said.

Keith looked at Kolivan. “Okay.”

He had to go start with Lance, then. Go figure out everything. He could do this.

He could do it.

  


* * *

  


So... Keith was pretty certain Kolivan did not mean to meet up with Lance in the middle of a hall, have Lance throw his coat aside to bare his throat to him, and for Keith to slice his throat open with his teeth. But, oh well, there they were, Keith holding Lance close to him as he drank.

Then, slowly, he let him go. “I did not mean for that,” Keith muttered, wiping his mouth.

”Hm?” Lance blinked, dazed. “Keith, what are you doing here?”

Keith inhaled slowly, picking up Lance’s coat and handing it to him. “I kind of came to figure out about the brainwashing thing. See how I’d doing it against you and all that.”

”You’re not-”

”Your neck is bleeding,” Keith snapped. “Can you just- just stop it? Both you and Shiro won’t fucking believe me when I say what I’m doing to you and I-” He swallowed. “I think Shiro-”

”Keith?”

Something snapped inside Keith. Shiro was his prey and he was about to be lost. Lance was food. Food shouldn’t talk. It was just hurting him more to think of himself as Galra at all- Roaring, Keith grabbed Lance, watching fear cross his face for once as his back was slammed against the wall. His hand dug into Lance’s hair, yanking his head to one side and revealing the bleeding wounds. Food. His food.

He bit.

He didn’t let go for a long time.

When he did, Lance slumped in his arms as he pulled back, skin pale, barely breathing...

He was still breathing when Keith bundled him into the white medical suit and put him in the cryopod.

And he’d still be breathing when he came out, Keith rationalized. His food would still be breathing.

A part of him screamed, angry. Hissing. Spitting. Galra.

It could shut the fuck up.


	21. Chapter 21

The Galra side came back to him as he stood in front of the pod, watching Lance heal. He had broken. Had hurt his friend. Keith looked down at his claws, remembering how he grabbed Lance, the fear in his eyes. The first time he had looked at Keith in fear before he had bit him. Keith lowered his hands, looking back at Lance. He had done that. And this time... Lance might remember. He might have broken the spell by... by breaking.

God. That was not what he wanted to do. He didn’t want to break the brainwashing by becoming a monster. These were his friends, his fo- Keith shook his head. He was _not_ going to think of them as his food any longer! Not after this!

Except it was true, wasn’t it, the vampire in him whispered. They were his food. They were _his._

”No,” he whispered, raising his hands to tangle in the fur between his ears. “No, I’m Galra. I’m... I have to be more than this. I have to-” He started to pace, pulling at his fur slightly. “I’m Galra. I’m... I’m not a _monster._ ” He looked at Lance, breathing heavily. Then he freed one hand, reaching out to touch the pod.

If he stayed, he was going to hurt Shiro like this.

Keith turned, fleeing the room. He needed to go. He needed- no, he- No. He didn’t need to stay. If he stayed, he was going to start hurting others. It would be too easy to turn all this on Hunk, Pidge, Allura... No, he needed to go. Leave. Before he killed someone. He’d be okay.

A thought suddenly occurred to him, and he slowed his steps, coming to a halt. He was running away... like his dad. His dad had run, taking Keith with him, giving Keith up... Kolivan said he didn’t have the same affliction, but... Shiro didn’t know Keith had been drinking from him, and Shiro was his perfect prey. What if... what if his dad ran from Kolivan to protect him? Because he was afraid of hurting Kolivan more, and gave Keith up because he was afraid of hurting _Keith_ in his bloodlust? It almost made sense except that Kolivan knew when Keith was drinking from him, but... what if Keith’s dad _knew_ how to do it and he couldn’t break it once he fell in love with Kolivan?

His dam would label him a coward like his father if he ran away. If he tried to save everyone else by running.

Keith looked down at his hands.

”I need a substitute,” he finally whispered. “We need to synthesize something close enough to Shiro’s blood that I won’t be going after him. That I won’t be a threat. Or else... I need to be taken care of.”

He nodded, looking up. Find Coran. Or Kolivan. Someone that could take control of this situation. Because he was making a fucking mess of it. Keith started down the hall, ready to find one of them. If anything, he knew where Kolivan was. Which was who he found first in his room, and who looked at him with surprise and wariness as he scented the air. “Keith-”

”I need help,” he said quickly. “No one’s dead - Lance should be okay - but I need help making sure no one else gets hurt. I don’t know what I’m doing, Kolivan, and I think what I need is a substitute so I don’t _have_ to drink from them so I won’t be tempted.”

Kolivan narrowed his eyes. “Keith, what have you done?”

”I... I tried what you said. And I... I failed. I couldn’t do it.” Keith placed the heels of his hands on his forehead, rubbing. “I nearly killed him. Kolivan, I’m not... I can’t control this. I need something that at least makes me _not_ want to eat him. Please... please help me.” He lowered his hands, pleading. “Get Coran, synthesize Shiro’s blood so I can drink that instead of Shiro, be there when I try to break my control of them so I don’t eat them instead... just... something, please. I don’t want to have to run away to protect them.”

That made Kolivan frown, and Keith could see him thinking the same thoughts he had. Then he shook his head, and Keith hoped he wasn’t dismissing it and was rather putting the thoughts aside to look at later. He hoped if his dad had brainwashed Kolivan that it didn’t work now. “You are not your father,” he rumbled. “You will face the consequences of your actions. Lance is alive?”

Keith nodded. “He’s... in a cryopod.”

”Good.” Kolivan reached out, tilting his head up slightly to look down into his face. “You may have to face more consequences than you realize by attacking him now,” he told him seriously. “And I will not shield you from any of them. Do you understand?”

He closed his eyes, hit by the words. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t-”

”I am not the one to ask for forgiveness.” Kolivan dropped his hand, only to take one of Keith’s gently. “Come. Let us find Coran.”

Kolivan’s hand was so warm...

  


* * *

  


Keith ran through the halls, scrambling for safety. He needed to be safe. The walls glowed purple as he ran, a warning. He knew what was after him. What awaited him if he faltered for just a second. He couldn’t falter, even for a second. Run. _Run._

Death awaited him if he didn’t.

Kolivan stood in the middle of the hall up ahead. Keith opened his mouth to call out, only to see the mask on his face, the hood over his head. The blade in his hand. But if Keith stopped, what was behind him would catch him, _Shiro_ -

Without a word, Kolivan raised his blade as Keith drew nearer, and-

Keith screamed, his chest on fire as he woke.


	22. Chapter 22

Keith shot out of bed, shaking. His chest burned, as if he had been sliced open- fuck. It had to be stress. He had to be stressed about what happened. Shaking, Keith pressed a hand to where it burned, relieved when he didn’t feel any wetness. No, he wasn’t bleeding. It was just... psychosomatic? Was that the right word? Fuck, he didn’t know. It sounded right, though, so he was sticking with psychosomatic.

Little wonder he would be having nightmares, he thought as he sat back down. After what happened, learning he wasn’t human in the slightest... he had lost so much humanity in such a short time. It had to be okay, he told himself. He just... had to learn moderation. Then he started to laugh to himself, shaking his head. Moderation. He couldn’t do that. What was he even thinking? He was just running off pure instinct right now, just like a proper Red Paladin. He- Keith closed his eyes.

”No,” he said aloud. “No, I refuse to be ruled by my instincts any longer. I refuse to let shit like this happen where I nearly _kill_ my friends. I am the Red Paladin. That means I _use_ my instincts. They don’t use me.” With those words, he stood, balls his hands into fists. He wasn’t going to let this rule him any longer. He was going to get help.

And so he started down the halls towards Kolivan’s room. When he knocked, Kolivan answered immediately, obviously awake. “I spoke with Shiro and Allura,” he told him, letting him in. “You will not be allowed out of your room unless you are on a mission. Coran is synthesizing the replacement, and should-”

”I want to learn how to control this,” he whispered. “I mean... what if this doesn’t work and I hypnotize Shiro into my room? I need to control this.”

”And I agree,” Kolivan told him. “But for the moment, you are not allowed near the others.”

Keith looked away, gritting his teeth. Then, he closed his eyes. “Kolivan... if Dad really did leave you because he was hurting you and wanted to stop... would it really be bad for me to do the same thing? I can’t stop hurting them... and our only answer is to lock me up. We don’t even have a plan how to make me stop hurting them so I can be out there, talking to everyone. I- I need to learn what I’m doing, Kolivan, or- or I need to go away!”

”You are going to stand and fight like the Galra you are!” Kolivan snapped at him.

”I’m only half Galra! So what?!”

Kolivan growled at him, his eyes narrowing. Keith hissed back, feeling his hands flex slightly, as if ready for a fight. But Kolivan just stood there, looking at him. Then, he sighed. “I cannot stop you if you wish to leave,” he told him, disappointment radiating from his tone. “But you will never learn how to control yourself if you leave. Shiro calls you more than all others. You will not get experience how to resist him out there.”

Keith rubbed his eyes. “I know,” he whispered. “It’s just... an option. I just don’t know what to do, Kolivan. I came here because I wanted help and I’m told to stay in my room. How’s that help? I-” He shook his head. “I just thought it would help.”

With a sigh, Kolivan lead him to his bed, laying him down. “We will help you,” he told him, laying down next to him, pulling him into a hug and starting to purr. “Trust in us, Keith. My kitten. We just... need to put things back into a semblance of order first.”

The purring filled his bones. “And I’m throwing them out of order.”

”You will be fine. Now, rest. Everything will be fine.”

Keith closed his eyes, then opened them, turning to look at Kolivan. “And if you have to kill me to put it in order?”

The purring stopped. Kolivan was silent, then said quietly, “I hope never to have to make that decision.”

  


* * *

  


”I’m not staying next to him!”

Lance’s panicked voice made Keith pause in his sit up. He must be out of the cryopod, Keith thought as he started for the door. About time. Something spurred him forward, to see Lance, see his-

No. Not his food.

Keith went back to the middle of the room, dropping to a push up stance. He started doing push ups, hearing Lance yelling at a soothing Allura, steadily becoming more and more panicked. Finally, he stood, going for his door as the urge to see Lance overtook him. He had to see his food. Just see him. He didn’t have to do anything else.

But as soon as he opened his door, Lance turned to him, pointing. “You! I know what you’ve been doing! I saw the blood, I- I remember now! I remember it all, you- you- God, what do I call it, blood rapist?! I didn’t even fucking consent!”

Lance... Keith just stood there, gaping, unable to say anything. Then, he looked away, stepping back into his room, Lance’s words still in his head. None of the words were untrue. Lance basically didn’t consent at all to it. He had been manipulated into wanting to give up his blood.

But now... now he remembered. And he was afraid.

Good.

Keith went to his bed, eyes tightly closed as he sat. Lance would calm down. This was just after the attack for him. He’d probably want to give up his blood freely at some point, because was a good guy, unlike Keith. But right now... right now, he just said true things.

Something tickled in his veins. What was that?

Keith’s eyes snapped open as they started to burn. No. He didn’t have the synthesized blood yet-

And then-

_Shiro-_

”Shiro...”

He couldn’t... he couldn’t call anyone... he needed... he needed Shiro no he needed-

Keith slid off the bed, gasping for air, pleading to an empty room for blood.


	23. Chapter 23

He wouldn't call for Shiro. Keith closed his eyes tightly, panting. His veins burned but he wasn't going to call for Shiro. Kolivan had to be nearby, and he had to have the synthetic blood. Shiro's blood. No, that was who he needed: Kolivan. It would be safer this way. Keith opened his mouth to call out, a weak noise escaping instead. No one was going to hear that. He was-

Keith closed his eyes, letting out a noiseless sob at the pain.

He was alone.

No calling Shiro. He wasn’t calling Shiro. He-

Keith found himself crawling to his door before he could stop himself, opening it and pulling himself out. Lance and Allura had left, which meant the hall was quiet. Empty. Keith grit his teeth, trying to convince himself to go back, go back inside and instead managing to push himself onto his hands and knees. He knew he looked pathetic as he crawled down the hall, Galra body somehow _not_ better designed for this. Or maybe his bone structure was still human. He didn’t know. Medicine wasn’t his thing. As it was, he knew it looked awkward and pathetic to watch him crawl towards Kolivan’s room. But Kolivan would know what to do. He would have the synthetic blood... or- or he’d know a safe way of drinking from Shiro... or- maybe he’d offer his veins up but it would be something. His dam would know _something._ Keith got to Kolivan’s room and raised one hand, scraping his claws across the door weakly.

No one answered.

No one was around.

Keith made an audible sob this time, pressing his face against the door. “Please,” he sobbed. “I don’t want to hurt Shiro. I don’t want to hurt anyone else ever again...”

No one answered.

”Shiro...”

No. He wasn’t going to call for him. He wasn’t- going to give into the vampire. He used his instincts; they did not use him. Keith bit his lip, feeling his own blood rush into his mouth. It was... sticky. Not what he wanted. But it was a point of pain, letting him focus. He wasn’t going to call for Shiro. Not this time. Shakily, Keith reached out again, tapping Kolivan’s door, hearing his claws scrape as he did so.

But Kolivan did not answer.

Keith had no more strength. His veins burned so much... all he could do was sit there, gasping for air. Every part of him ached to call for Shiro- No. No, he wasn’t going to do it. He wasn’t-

When Keith opened his eyes again, everything was hazy. He could hear people talking, but from far away. He closed his eyes again. This was fine. Everything was fine. Kolivan would be back soon and then he’d have some way of figuring it out. He opened his mouth, trying to say the words and failing. But they knew. They had to know. Everything would work...

Hands touched his face, neck. Keith frowned. What was going on? People were still talking. Was Kolivan here? He needed to be. Everything- would be better if he-

He closed his eyes again.

Something was pressed to his lips- something wet-

Keith growled, grabbing it and holding it tightly as he bit. Blood rushed into his mouth faster, but not fast enough. He bit again, lacerating the flesh more and more for the perfect blood flow. But the source was taken away and he whined, reaching out, needy. He needed- he needed!

A hand cupped his face as someone spoke. Slowly, Keith opened his eyes, seeing Kolivan’s worried face. He looked over, watching Allura quickly bind up his freely bleeding arm. Keith looked back up at Kolivan, then his eyes rolled back into his skull and he fainted.

  


* * *

  


”I apologize,” Kolivan told him, ears pinned back. “I had... left to speak with Allura regarding a few matters and I had forgotten the last time you had blood was Lance, and that was longer ago than you usually are able to last without needing to eat again. You seemed to have fallen harder than usual. I would assume since it was Lance’s blood and not Shiro’s.”

Keith felt his own ears want to pin back. He still felt shaky - Kolivan’s blood was _not_ a substitute for Shiro’s - but he wasn’t starving anymore. The vampire inside told him he could fix that, if he would just- but Keith stomped that down. He used his instincts. They didn’t use him.

After a moment, Kolivan sighed. He had been in the cryopod briefly to heal up his arm before he bled out, so it was as good as new. That arm now reached forward, pulled Keith into his lap. “My kitten,” he rumbled. “Do you need more blood?”

Keith nodded. “I need Shiro’s,” he whispered thickly. “I-”

”We are working on it.” Kolivan raised his arm. “In the meantime.”

”I’m not _hungry,_ ” Keith told him, voice shaking a little. “I just need Shiro- I need Shiro.”

Kolivan hesitated. “Keith...”

Slowly, he closed his eyes as something horrible and overwhelming rose in his chest. He had ruined everything with Shiro because he was a fucking vampire. After all the fear he had that being Galra was going to ruin things, it was being a _vampire_ that did it. He felt Kolivan stroke his ears back and Keith tried not to let that feeling bubble over. No. He let himself fall too far in an attempt to become comfortable with who he was. This was his fault. He had to live with the consequences.

After a moment, the feeling subsided, and he took a slow breath. “I need to make things right.”

”I will help you.”

Keith nodded.

After a moment, Kolivan dropped his hand. “I... I might be trying to see if I can dislodge any sort of block of my memory as well to see if your father did the same that you’ve done to Shiro to me. There may be information there we can use. And... I wish to have the memories back.”

”You’re...” Keith looked up at him, blinking. “Really?”

”Yes.”

Well... that had some hope. Kolivan might figure something out if he remembered. It might... it might work. And he might know how to help Shiro break any sort of blocks on his memory too. Make it so he remembered Keith drinking his blood. Not like he would be more of a monster aftewards to him anyway, Keith thought cynically.

In the meantime...

Keith closed his eyes.

He just needed to sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

Everyone had decided it would be good for a growing Galra to get some exercise. Which was why Keith was currently trying to hold his own against Kolivan, and as always, not doing more than keeping Kolivan from killing him. But it was something to do, something other than be agonizingly aware of every moment he didn’t have Shiro between his teeth. At the same time, he could feel something tickle inside of him, warning him it was almost time for him to break, for his veins to burn to for Shiro. It was strange to be able to actually _feel_ it now. But he felt so much more aware of it, and he could feel it skittering inside his skin.

Keith signaled for a break, taking a step back. “I need-” he gasped, shaking his head. “How is the synthetic Shiro blood coming along?”

”We should have something you can try,” Kolivan assured him. “Are you able to tell now when you are about to be in bloodlust?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I- I think.” Keith deactivated his bayard and stashed it, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know. But I don’t want to take the chance.”

”I understand,” Kolivan told him. “Come along.” His blade went to his side, still the one he had adopted after giving Keith his as a young kitten. No matter what, Keith still owned his dam’s blade, having been passed on to him when Kolivan had gone. And damn it, he wished he knew what happened then.

”Do you remember anything?” Keith asked quietly as they walked to the med bay. He didn’t know if Kolivan did or not, and if Kolivan wanted to tell him.

”I...” With a deep breath, Kolivan shook his head. “There is a block that I am becoming increasingly aware of in my memory. It is becoming more obvious to me that your father must have drank my blood, but I am not aware of the circumstances. And there is one final block before I noticed he had left with you. I am... starting to wonder what that block is, and if he was less a coward when he took you and more aggressive, fighting with me over our ideals or what your future would be, and he took the upper hand.” Kolivan frowned. “I am not sure which I would rather have.”

”What would you have done with my future?” Keith asked, curious.

”At the time, I wanted to always be near you, however, I recognized I could not stay on Earth. And so I assume I would have proposed taking you and your father back with me.”

”And having me raised by the Blade of Marmora,” Keith murmured.

”We are not good with kittens,” Kolivan admitted. “And less so with your afflictions. Your father would have been a great asset to have to raise you, and I feel you would have been better suited to fight as a Paladin of Voltron had I done that. I cannot remember what your father wanted, however... he may have rejected the idea of you being away from humans, knowing what he did of his diet and thinking you needed their blood. Or simply the idea of you being raised to join this war. I do not know.” Kolivan shook his head. “I cannot remember.”

Keith fell silent until they made it to the empty med bay. When Kolivan went to get the synthetic blood, he said, “Can Allura help you remember?”

Sighing, Kolivan took a packet much like the water ones, only red, and passed it to him. “I fear she’s hesitant because the memories may not be good ones,” he told him. “But she has sworn to help as much as she can.”

”Kolivan... she’s as much my leader as Shiro is. Tell me the truth. Do you, my dam, love my leader?”

He sighed. “Drink your blood.” As Keith rolled his eyes and started drinking the blood, Kolivan closed his eyes. “I suppose... I could say yes. She is a lovely woman, intelligent, and very headstrong. I approve of her leadership. I... do say yes, I love her.”

Keith nodded, swallowing a mouthful of blood. “Good.”

A tentative smile crossed Kolivan’s face. “I had wondered how you would react to that. Now, finish your blood. And tell me how that tastes and if you think that will work.”

”It tastes like clone blood,” Keith told him bluntly. “And clone blood seemed to work for me before, so this should work.” He finished up the packet, and threw it away. The blood had made him feel a thousand times better. He still had the urge to get Shiro between his teeth, but at least the feeling under his skin had stopped. “How much of that is there?”

”It is set up that a new packet is made when one is taken out,” Kolivan assured him. “You will be fine.”

Something about that didn’t make sense. “Won’t it go bad?”

”I asked the same, but Coran said he would be able to store them so they would not.”

Oh. Keith hoped they would never fail.

”Now. Back to the training room.”

Keith nodded. He needed to train as much as possible. Because he needed to forget how much he wanted to touch, kiss, bite, drain Shiro.

Bad Keith.

  


* * *

  


This time he was aware it was a nightmare. It didn’t change the terror in his heart as he crouched behind his Lion. The Castle had been deathly dark save for a few lights, and he had heard angry voices behind him as he had ran. While he ran, he had chanted to himself it was just a dream, wake up. But he couldn’t, and he waited behind Red’s paw, not sure what was coming but knowing it wasn’t good.

But when it came from behind him, the glow of purple, Keith rolled to one side, surprised. He landed in a crouch, looking up to see Shiro’s impassive face, his arm lit up. Purple lit around him, a mass of Shiros around him, coming in closer to him with the only purpose to kill him-

Keith woke with a shout.

Then curled up, shivering, the sounds he made sounding a little like sobs.


	25. Chapter 25

Form Voltron. Keith took a slow breath as he heard Allura say the words. They need Voltron badly but... he looked over at Shiro and Lance. That meant opening his mind to them. Who knew what that would do to them. Lance seemed like his mind was his own again, which... was cool. But Shiro... Shiro still looked at him with distrust. Still didn’t speak to him. Didn’t... didn’t seem to think of him as _Keith._ And that by itself...

Keith lifted his chin. It didn’t matter. They needed to form Voltron. He turned to change, ready as he could be. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t ready at all. Right now, he would have to be ready to try. To go out there and prove that he was still a useful member of the team.

To prove...

That Red still wanted him.

Keith changed quickly and headed out to Red, getting settled as fast as he could. “Please, girl,” he whispered as he sat down. “Please, I know I haven’t been good lately, but-”

The chair rocketed forward, nearly thrusting him into the control sticks at the same time Red lifted her head, the roar echoing through the hanger. He could feel her concern tickling in his head, her- love. With a deep breath, he took the control sticks in hand as she flew out of the hanger.

”Showoff,” Lance muttered.

”Hey, that was Red, not me,” Keith objected, starting to feel more like himself. “And anyway, you jealous?”

”Me? Nuh uh, no way! Me and Blue are perfect.” Keith could almost see Lance’s nose pointed up in the air. “Anyway. Aren’t we supposed to be trying to form Voltron?”

Black joined the airspace, followed by Blue, Yellow, and Green. “We should do some warm ups,” Shiro told them. “It’s been a while at least for me.”

”Yeah, sure,” Keith told him. They had some simple warm ups. And they could do this. He could do this.

Allura ran them through the warm up exercises, and Keith felt a thrill run through him, echoed by Red. He was a _Paladin._ This was perfect. This was exactly where he should be. He waited for Shiro to call out to form Voltron, only to hear Allura cry out. “Allura!” they all shouted at once.

”It’s not me,” she told them. “Keith. Get back here immediately.”

Alarm ran through him at the words and he set Red back to the Castle, putting on as much speed as he could. It didn’t take long for him to get back, and Coran was waiting for him. “Kolivan, he-”

Keith went cold. “Where is he?”

”Back in his room. I will let Allura know you have returned,” he called after Keith as he ran out of the hanger, intent on making it to Kolivan’s room.

It took too much time, in Keith’s opinion, to make it to Kolivan’s room. Allura must still be on the bridge, he thought as he knocked on the door. She did take being their leader seriously. When the door didn’t open, Keith blew out a frustrated breath, trying to think. If he looked at the panel, it didn’t look like the door was locked, so... he should be okay with just opening it himself the way he opened his own room door. Slowly, he reached out, putting his hand on the sensor.

The door opened, showing Kolivan resting in bed.

Keith rushed to his side, kneeling. “Hey,” he whispered. “Kolivan.”

No response.

Was this... because he had drank his blood? Because his dad had... Keith closed his eyes tightly, clenching his hands on his thighs.

Being a vampire brought nothing but pain and suffering.

  


* * *

  


Kolivan stirred on the third day. Keith was there with the meat they had picked up at the last planet, ready to feed him a full meal. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, helping Kolivan sit up and moving to help hold him up. “I didn’t mean- I mean, I-”

”This is not your fault,” Kolivan said roughly. “And I am fine.” He carefully ate with his fingers, still not quite strong enough to sit up by himself. “I merely made a mistake. One I had not anticipated. Everything will be fine. I have worked through the worst of it.”

”What do you mean by that?” he asked, curious.

With a sigh, Kolivan took Keith’s hand. “I have been spending my time poking at the memory block,” he explained. “I did not expect it to slip then. What I encountered was simply an overload of memories, and I assume my consciousness could not handle the onslaught.”

”So- you remember.” Keith gripped Kolivan’s hand tighter. “Dad, I mean.”

”I remember, yes, but I’m not sure what I remember. It’s jumbled... I believe I understand why it took so long for Lance to exit the cryopod. His memory was putting everything together again. I have memories of love mixed with memories of wanting to kill him mixed with... well, rather carnal ones, and they do not make sense when viewed. I can say... I believe the reason for you not coming with us was far more complicated than I anticipate.”

Keith nodded, almost disappointed. And after what happened like that... he didn’t want Shiro to remember. If he went comatose like Kolivan did... and he might, for longer... then he’d rather Shiro hate him. He didn’t want Shiro to suffer. He pressed his face against Kolivan’s shoulder, sighing. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

Kolivan chuckled. “Go form Voltron. You are a Paladin of Voltron, my kitten. Go be one.”

”We tried,” he confessed. “Shiro and Lance... they...”

”Was it Shiro and Lance? Or was it you, kitten?”

”Of course it’s me,” he snapped. “And they don’t want to work with me. Or at least let my mind near theirs again. And it makes sense. I abused that trust. I’m not going to... I’m not going to be good. I don’t know how.”

Kolivan sighed, patting Keith’s hand. “You will get it. You have not tried all avenues yet, after all. Now, let me rest. You train. I expect the best out of you when I am better.”

Keith gently laid Kolivan back down and went to leave. Then he turned slightly. “I love you, my dam.”

”I love you, my kitten.”


	26. Chapter 26

Keith was getting reeeeeally tired of synthetic blood. He finished his packet and made a face. It did its job, but... it felt so unfilling. If only... Keith looked at the empty packet clenched in his claws. Every part of him still wanted to bite Shiro, but... even more so, he missed Shiro’s touch. The kisses. He had touched something _great_ with that one clone. The clone had given him... love. He knew Shiro felt the same; the clone had said he did. But he wasn’t allowed to have that something great with the real Shiro because of how much of an idiot he was.

With a sharp breath, he turned to throw the packet away. He didn’t want to think about that now. It would probably be smarter to get back to his room anyway. Before he ran into Shiro or... fuck, Lance. Lance remembered. If he ran into him...

Movement caught his attention, making Keith look up. Lance stood there, hands awkwardly jammed into his jacket pockets. “You have blood on your lip,” he told Keith quietly.

”Oh.” He wiped at his lips. “Did I get it?”

”Yeah.” Lance swung his arms slightly, hands still inside his pockets. “You got it.”

Well, he wasn’t yelling at him. That was good. But at the same time... “I should go,” Keith told him. “You-”

”Do you really not know you’re doing it?”

Keith hesitated. “I... yeah. I mean, I... I don’t know. I didn’t even know I was a vampire until when I bit you, actually. And I’d been doing that to Shiro for years and I didn’t even know it- Lance, believe me, I wouldn’t do that on purpose. I thought you were giving me your blood willingly. That’s why... that’s why I told Kolivan I needed a substitute. I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

Lance hunched his shoulders. “Like... I don’t know if how I feel right now is really me or you making me feel pity for you. If you can force me to want to give you blood, can’t you do that too?”

”I wouldn’t do that, Lance! I- damn it.” Keith worried gently at his lower lip, trying not to slice it open with his fangs. “Look. I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want your pity. I just... want things to go back to how they used to be. Like... like that one time, when we went to go form Voltron. We poked at each other a little bit. I want to go back to that. Or maybe go back to that weird things where we’re actually kind of friends. I-”

”I don’t think you have friends anymore here,” Lance said bluntly. “Hunk’s pretty disturbed by what you’ve been doing, and I’m pretty certain Pidge is locking her door with a code no one, even Hunk, can crack. I don’t know what’s going on between you and Shiro, but you and I? We’re not friends. I don’t trust you anymore. I don’t know what’s my mind and what’s yours.”

”Then how are we going to form Voltron?” Keith nearly yelled at him. “We have to trust each other to form Voltron!”

”I don’t know. Maybe it’ll be different in the heat of battle. Right now, I don’t trust you. I don’t know if I should want to trust you like I do, or if that’s you, making me want to trust you.” Keith watched Lance start to tear up, a frustrated look crossing his face. “I can’t trust anything my mind gives me anymore because of you. Maybe at some point I’ll be able to tell if it’s me that’s thinking that, but I can’t. I-I can’t right now.”

”Lance-”

Sniffling, Lance wiped at his face. “Don’t. Just- Don’t.”

Keith couldn’t move as Lance turned and left. Then, slowly, he made his way to Kolivan’s room. His dam wasn’t there, but his scent was, and it surrounded him as he curled up in his bed and closed his eyes, the ache in his heart keeping him awake.

  


* * *

  


Maybe he should run away to the Blade of Marmora. That way he would still be part of the war effort, and everyone would be free to find a Red Paladin that didn’t fuck up. Keith looked at the blade Kolivan had given him - _his_ blade - and considered it. They would be safe, and he wouldn’t... completely be running away. He’d still be fighting against the Galra empire. Just next to Kolivan instead of Allura.

A strange feeling pulsed in his chest at the thought, but he pushed it aside. He’d need to talk to Kolivan about it. Until then... well, there were a lot of positives about it. He’d get to meet more Galra, get to know more about his Galra heritage. Maybe learn a few new things about his vampire heritage too, and in a place he hadn’t already fucked over. They could bring some of the blood packets, learn how to recreate them.

The more Keith thought about it, the more it sounded like it could work. Just... run away. It wouldn’t be hard, and it would probably work out better for everyone involved. Lance could heal, and find his own mind again. Shiro could break the hold Keith had on him. Running away just was the smart idea now. Keith stashed his blade, going to find Kolivan. If he was going to run to the Blade of Marmora, he would need Kolivan’s help. It might even be best to leave without letting anyone know. Keith bit his lip at the thought. If he let them know, they might talk him out of it, and then hate themselves because they thought they were brainwashed. Better to leave unannounced.

”Kolivan?” he called out when he reached his room, knocking.

A strangled noise was his only answer. Keith opened the door quickly, his heart in his throat. When he did, he saw Kolivan sitting on his bed, staring at his hands.

Slowly, he looked up at Keith. “You are just like your father,” he whispered. “And I am a fool.”


	27. Chapter 27

A numb feeling settled over Keith. He was just like his father. Of course he was. He closed his eyes, taking slow deep breaths. Kolivan had been the last person to believe in him, and now he was saying- he was saying these things- “I-” he started, his voice giving out on him. “I’m sorry,” he tried again, voice faltering yet again. What else could he say? His own dam now hated him.

Kolivan stood haltingly, coming over to him and cupping his face with careful hands. “I should be the one who is sorry,” he told him quietly.

Oh God he was going to kill him. Keith tensed, though he didn’t know what he was going to do. If Kolivan wanted to, he could twist his head around before Keith could do more than think to attack. He couldn’t- Kolivan wasn’t- he couldn’t hold Kolivan off if he wanted to attack him. Not if he really wanted to kill him. He had too much experience for Keith to live if he wanted to kill him.

But instead Kolivan dropped his hands, going back to his bed and sitting down with a sigh. “I cannot believe how much of a fool I’ve been,” he said, not exactly aiming it towards Keith. Then he shook his head, looking at his son. “Come in. I suppose I should update you on what Allura and I have been doing.”

Hesitantly, Keith entered, feeling the door close behind him. If Kolivan wanted to- but he didn’t move. “What... have you been doing?”

”We have been holding meetings with various Paladins, most often Shiro. We cannot ascertain if he’s broken the brainwashing or not as he will not speak to us, but we’ve spoken to them about what we’ve done, what you’re doing, and what can be done. Lance...” Kolivan frowned. “He still holds distrust in his heart. But the others seem to understand.”

”Lance said Hunk and Pidge are afraid of me!” Keith said, the words bursting out.

Kolivan shook his head. “Our next step would have been having you speak to them with us as a mediator. But I would think they would not be afraid of you.”

”Could you just _explain_ things?!” Keith cried out, frustrated. “What is going on? Why am I like my father? Why aren’t they afraid of me? Kolivan, explain to me what’s going on!”

After a moment, Kolivan patted the bed next to him. “It happened when you were a kitten,” he started as Keith sat down slowly, his eyes narrowed at Kolivan. “You were falling more and more ill, as was I. Your father did not know what to do, but he told me that if we were to separate and I not to feed you and him any longer, I should recover. He would take you, find someone who knew of your afflictions better than he did, and see what it was that made you so ill. And-” He looked at Keith. “I asked him to seal the memories so I would not be tempted to return to Earth to find you. But it seemed the seal was imperfect and I remembered him and you... and made my own assumptions as to why he took you.”

”You remember,” Keith whispered. “You...”

Kolivan smiled sadly at him. “I still would not have let you leave the Castle, Keith, as it seems whatever illness you had as a child was eased by Shiro’s blood. If I had remembered, I would have worked with Shiro earlier to help him come to grips with you being a vampire and him just now learning about it. But... you willing to leave to ease our ills... sounds just like the argument your father first told me before we agreed on me leaving.”

Keith blinked, feeling his eyes mist. Which surprised him; Galra could cry? Maybe it he just looked like a Galra and he had some kind of hybrid body. He didn’t know. But he closed his eyes, trying to get himself under control. “So I’m... you’re not angry at me.”

”No. I am proud of you.” Keith opened his eyes to look at his dam, seeing the fond smile on his face. “Not every Galra can say his son is a Paladin of Voltron. You are doing good in this universe, my kitten. And we will work towards doing more.”

Wiping at his eyes, Keith nodded. “So where do we start?”

”We will start with meeting with the other Paladins, one by one. Allura and I will speak again with Lance before you meet with him.”

”He says he’s afraid he doesn’t know what’s my mind and what’s his,” Keith admitted.

”Hm. I will have to think on that one, but I have an idea. You may not like it.”

”It’ll be better than now.” Keith rubbed his head. “Anything has to be better than now.”

Kolivan nodded. “Then we will work on that. As for now...”

”Did you love Dad?” Keith whispered.

”Yes,” came the immediate answer.

  


* * *

  


”So you’re not going to do it anymore?” Hunk asked, his eyes wide.

Pidge’s talk had gone pretty easily, Keith reflected. Lance had been guessing. She was disturbed, but she saw what was going on and wasn’t afraid of Keith when they hugged at the end. She even made a Dracula joke. Hunk... was a little afraid. “Yeah. I mean... I’m going to try. I don’t want to do anything like that to you guys.”

”Lance is really afraid of you,” Hunk pointed out, shifting uneasily.

”I know.” Keith hunched his shoulders. Kolivan didn’t move to soothe him, only stood there and watched. Which was probably good - he didn’t take sides. Soothing Keith might give Hunk the wrong impression. That he wasn’t there to be impartial. Keith took a long breath, straightening. “I know he’s afraid of me and I’m working on a way to prove he shouldn’t be. And I can’t do anything like that to you or Pidge because I didn’t bite you two.”

”But you bit Shiro.” Hunk’s thumbs tapped together quickly as he laced his fingers together. “I mean, you can do that to Shiro.”

”We’re working on that too. And I have synthetic Shiro blood now. Everything’s okay now. I don’t...” His voice trailed off before he cleared his throat. “I don’t need to touch Shiro ever again.”

”... you love him, don’t you.” Even now, Hunk’s voice was sympathetic.

”I fucked up enough that it doesn’t matter anymore. I just have to be able to work with him now to save the universe.”

”Oh.” Hunk’s voice turned small. “Well... I hope everything goes okay. And I... well, I guess I can trust you. You haven’t gotten Lance to go back to your room to get bloodsucked so... I can see you’re trying. So I guess everything’s okay? Yeah. Everything’s okay.”

Keith sighed in relief, smiling. “Thanks, Hunk.” He reached out, surprised when Hunk stood, pulling Keith up to stand as well and hugging him. “What-”

”Team building hug,” Hunk said seriously. “Now shh. Enjoy it.”

Keith barked out a laugh, his hands coming up to hug Hunk back.

It felt nice.


	28. Chapter 28

It might have just been Keith imagination, but he almost landed a hit on Kolivan during practice. No matter what it was, he had definitely done well today. Kolivan hadn’t gotten close to landing a hit, and Keith didn’t fall once. Things were getting better. He rolled one shoulder as he headed back to his room, intent on a hot shower and change into clean clothes. In all truth, he would have liked being able to switch back to a more human form, but... it looked like this was his form now. Galra. He was going to look like his dam from now on. It made him a little sad that he wouldn’t look like his dad ever again. And after what he learned... Keith sighed. His dad had been the man he had hoped he had been. Something had eased inside him when Kolivan told him that he had loved his dad too... something that liked knowing his dam and father had loved each other despite how it turned out. It couldn’t go back to the way things were, but... he had been a product of their love, and not of anything else. It felt- nice.

He passed by Lance’s room, hesitating. They needed to talk, but Lance was right. He wouldn’t be able to tell when Keith was messing with his head. Keith rubbed his arms at the thought. Kolivan said he would figure something out, but what if he was wrong? They may never know. It would be better for all of them if Keith- no. Kolivan was right. He needed to stay. Though... could he just give up his position as Red Paladin? They needed someone they could trust their brains with. He was not that. But he needed to stay for the synthetic Shiro blood. Red would accept a new pilot if he... gave the job up, right?

Fuck, that didn’t feel right. He was a Paladin of Voltron. He didn’t want to change that. Keith shook his head. Kolivan may be letting him do what he felt what was right, but what was right for him wasn’t to leave something that felt so right. Even as the thought it, he could feel Red shaking her head disapprovingly at him. They were bonded. They were perfect. He couldn’t leave her in the hands of someone that wouldn’t understand!

No. He would remain the Red Paladin.

Someone moved behind him, and Keith shifted to see Lance walking up behind him. His eyes narrowed at Keith. “Looking for a meal?” he snapped, jamming his hands into his pockets.

”No,” Keith snapped back. “I was just thinking. Heaven forbid one of us think.”

”Was that supposed to be an insult? Because you know I think, and think a lot. So don’t try to insult me. Or was that you trying to get inside my head again?”

”Why the fuck would I want to get inside your head to fight with you?” Keith said explosively. “All I want to do is be your goddamn friend. But you’ve wanted to be my rival ever since we met and now you want to be a fucking _asshole_ -” Keith paused, then blinked. “Holy shit. You’re doing exactly the opposite of what I want you to do.”

Lance opened his mouth, then frowned. “I-”

”No, don’t you get it? If I really wanted you to do what I wanted, you would have shut the fuck up and not fought with me. But look. You’re doing what you want to. You’re fighting with me.” Keith felt his heart lighten slightly. “I never thought I’d be happy to hear you be an asshole, Lance.”

”Hey!”

”No, but really!” Keith spread his hands. “I _want to be your friend._ It’s exhausting to fight with you all the time. But you’re not being my friend right now. That’s exciting!”

Lance continued to frown. “You...”

”I’m not messing with your mind!” Keith knew he was smiling and he didn’t care. “The hold’s broken! Everything’s okay!”

”No it’s not,” Lance snapped. “Okay. I’m not brainwashed anymore. What about Shiro?”

The smile dropped slowly from Keith’s lips. “Shiro... I haven’t talked to Shiro since...”

”Everything’s not okay until it’s okay with him.” Lance started to move past him to his own door. “And anyway... I’m still not okay. Just... in general. So just-”

”Are you sick?” Keith suddenly remembered Kolivan’s words about how he had gotten sick. “I mean, if you are-”

Lance hesitated. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “I just don’t feel good. Shaky.”

”Go talk to Kolivan. He should know why you feel that way and how to fix it.”

”I know. I just...” He shook his head. “Thought that Kolivan wasn’t going to listen to me. Like, he was just going to say you were perfect and I should keep feeding you and that would make me feel better.”

Keith shook his head. “He shouldn’t. I mean, Kolivan knows about your side of things a little better than mine. He should know why you feel that way.”

”Yeah.” Lance swung his arms a little. “I just want to rest now. I really don’t feel good.”

”Okay.” Keith relented, dropping it as Lance entered his room. But he had just learned something exciting: He wasn’t brainwashing Lance anymore. That was great!

Just... now Shiro.

  


* * *

  


Keith dropped out of Red, falling off the ramp with his arms surrounding his midsection. Why did they always go for the stomach? Why? He panted, trying to pull himself to his feet so he could make his way to the cryopods, feeling the wound in his stomach stretch and pull as he did so. It hurt so much, but that wasn’t what worried him. It was the blood loss. It made him dizzy, made him... hungry.

He could feel hands pulling him up and Hunk’s worried voice, so it had to be Hunk picking him up. Lance telling Pidge something. And... he looked up, seeing Shiro standing there, his eyes wide under the helmet.

He wanted Shiro’s blood.

But instead, he closed his eyes, pushing the need away. They had the synthetic stuff. He’d go into the pod, and get synthetic blood when he came out. He’d be okay. He’d be...

Keith opened his eyes, seeing the stricken look on Shiro’s face as Hunk helped him away.

He’d be okay.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you follow my tumblr (vagrantbreath.tumblr.com) you know why this is late. For those who don't: I've been dealing with some family medical drama for the last two days. My uncle is very sick (he's had seven heart attacks in three days) and we're looking at issuing a DNR. So. Irregular updates may be coming.

Hunk looked away, queasy, as Keith grabbed a second blood packet and started sucking it down. “Uh, you might want to take it easy,” he suggested, his voice faint. “I mean, I don’t know how many of those we have and- and how fast they replenish. So you know. Take it easy?”

Keith didn’t answer, too busy sucking down synthetic blood. But once he was done, he licked his lips carefully, taking a deep breath. The cryopod had healed him perfectly, but... he was still hungry. He had still lost blood. And synthetic Shiro blood was the closest thing to what he really needed at the moment. Keith took a moment, taking in how he felt. Did he really need that third packet?

Taking a deep breath, instead of grabbing a new one, Keith threw the use packet away and turned to Hunk. “I’m done,” he told him quietly. “I’d make myself sick if I drank any more blood, anyway.”

”O-oh. Okay. Well.” Hunk cleared his throat. “So uh- how’re you doing?”

He shrugged. “I still feel kind of hungry but other than that, okay. I’m not going to eat you,” he snapped as Hunk’s eyes widened.

”No, but... you shouldn’t go hungry. Bad things happen when you do. But you said you were going to make yourself sick if you drank anymore blood?” Hunk bit his lower lip. “How about if you ate it? Like, I cooked a steak and used some of that blood as a... hm, a sauce?”

”I still think I’d be sick from overeating,” Keith admitted.

”Oh.” Hunk tapped his index fingers together, looking up at him a little shyly. “So... what can I do to help you?”

A small smile crossed Keith’s face as warmth blossomed in his chest. “I’ll be okay, Hunk. Really.”

Hunk fell silent for a moment. “Have you and Shiro worked anything out yet?” he finally asked, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I’ve noticed you and Lance... well, not really getting along, but he’s not avoiding you anymore. So I guess you two worked things out there?”

Keith nodded. “We figured out that I’m not brainwashing him anymore. It... kind of means we have to fight, but... as long as he can trust me, right?” Keith sighed, scratching his head, feeling his claws scrape along his scalp. “We haven’t figured that out with Shiro yet. So...”

”He really cares about you,” Hunk told him. “Shiro.”

”There’s really nothing I can do about it until we’re sure he’s no longer brainwashed.” Keith smiled a little at Hunk. “We’re working on it. It’ll get done.”

”I know it will, but you two just look so... I don’t know, unhappy? Like you two shouldn’t be apart like this. It doesn’t really feel right.” Hunk frowned. “Am I making sense? Like, you two should be together and this is wrong.”

Keith closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them, looking past Hunk. “He’s... I guess the best way to put it... is my prey. But I mean, some part of me - I don’t know if it’s the Galra part or the vampire part also wants this - but some part of me wants Shiro as... as a...” He shrugged. “A boyfriend? A- A _mate_? I don’t know what the right word is. But I-”

”I know. You love him.”

Keith nodded.

”Well...” Hunk pursed his lips, thinking. “You won’t be able to tell if you’re no longer brainwashing him if you’re not around him, right? So maybe you need to be around him. With Kolivan!” His eyes went wide. “In case things go wrong!”

”I see how much faith you really have in me,” Keith said dryly, then sighed. He was right. He should do that. “Yeah. Thanks, Hunk.”

Hunk patted his back. “It’s still so weird that you’re so tall now,” he told him. “But it’s kind of cool too! You’re the tall friend now.”

Keith sputtered out a laugh at that. Yeah. He kind of was.

  


* * *

  


Some part of him should have known synthetic blood would not hold him forever. It shouldn’t have ever been a substitute. It wasn’t-

But when he still felt the tickle of his veins burning after finishing a packet-

Damn it. Keith held the packet in his hands, tightly crumpling it. He hadn’t felt this way until he had gotten hurt. If he hadn’t gotten hurt, this wouldn’t be an issue. But his body still had been bled, and he still-

No. He wasn’t going to use Shiro that way. He just needed to drink another packet. Even though that hadn’t done a single thing and when he was full he was still hungry. No, he just- he couldn’t-

Keith rubbed his face. What was he going to do? He couldn’t drink Kolivan’s blood. It wouldn’t give him what he needed. Lance was right out. He wasn’t going to bite Hunk or Pidge and start that mess. And he didn’t know if Altean blood would actually work for him or if it would be harmful. That just left Shiro, but- he couldn’t. Not Shiro.

He couldn’t hurt Shiro.

Slowly, he threw away the packet and started back to his room, feeling uncomfortably full yet feeling his veins start to burn. He was... just going to have to deal with it. He was just-

He-

Keith hit the floor, feeling his veins explode in an inferno. He gasped, claws scraping along the floor as he tried to get up. Tried to move. Tried... tried to get back to his room, to-

Someone pull him into their arms. Pressed a wrist to his mouth.

Keith bit.

Then bit harder at the taste of _Shiro_ in his mouth. The perfect taste. What he needed. What-

No. Keith shoved Shiro’s arm away, shaking his head. “No,” he gasped. “I can’t-”

”You look like death warmed over,” Shiro told him, not taking his arm away. “I’m not moving until you look better.”

”I’m brainwashing-”

”Fine. It’s okay right now, as long as you _live._ ” Shiro pushed his bleeding wrist back to Keith’s mouth.

And Keith couldn’t help but continue to drink. To lap at the blood welling up as Shiro held him close, giving him exactly what he needed as he pressed his lips to Keith’s head.


	30. Chapter 30

The last time he felt so safe and warm when waking, Keith had been held by Kolivan. When he turned to look this time, Shiro’s sleeping face greeted him. His heart picked up - a bit from being so close to Shiro, after so long, and a bit from the memory of what happened - and he started to pulled out of his arms. Shiro couldn’t have meant what he said. He didn’t know what he was saying, considering he could still be brainwashed. Keith sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and thinking.

He needed to stay long enough to talk to Shiro. But he knew what Shiro was about to say. He wasn’t brainwashed. He wouldn’t remember what he did. But Keith... he couldn’t let Shiro do that anymore. Even if- even if it was the only thing he could possibly use after being hurt like that. Keith turned slightly, stroking the white tuft out of Shiro’s face, letting a small fond smile cross his face. Even if it was the one thing he wanted from the man he loved, the love and trust he had lost.

Shiro started to stir, and Keith dropped his hand as he opened his eyes. “Hey, Keith,” Shiro said, voice croaking a bit with sleep. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugged. “Alive. How are you feeling?”

Shiro’s brow furrowed at that. “I’m okay. Why?”

Of course. Keith stood, sighing explosively. “Because I fucking used my brainwashing to make you give me your blood!” he nearly shouted at Shiro as he turned to look at him. “And don’t give me that look. I- Don’t you get it, Shiro? I’m slowly killing you and you’re being forced to be okay with it!”

”Keith.” Shiro stood, reaching up to take him by the shoulders. “Look. Sit. Instead of getting emotional and yelling at me, why don’t you tell me what happened? I obviously don’t remember it.”

With a sigh, Keith sat back down, resting his arms on his legs. Shiro sat next to him, waiting. “I got hurt,” Keith finally said.

”I remember that part. I... was afraid you were going to be really hurt. That the cryopod wouldn’t heal everything.”

Keith felt a humorless smile quirk his lips. “Yeah.” He shook his head. “After I got out, I was... so hungry. I kept drinking packet after packet of the synthetic blood but it just didn’t work. And then you... well, I got sick and you fed me.” Keith looked down at his claws. “You told me it was okay as long as I lived.”

”Sounds like something I’d say.” Shiro sighed as Keith looked back up at him. “Look, Keith. I might not remember doing that for you, but it sounds like something I’d do, no matter what. So Keith...” He ran his human hand through his hair. “I’m getting tired of this,” he admitted. “You sneak around this place, avoiding us... like you hate yourself. And I’m getting tired of it. You’re not a horrible person. You’re who you’ve always been: Keith. Stop trying to be anything less than that.”

”I’ve hurt Lance,” Keith growled. “He... the only way he can know I’m not fucking with his mind is if we fight. We can’t ever get along anymore because of what I’ve done to him.”

”And that means you don’t deserve a second chance?” Shiro’s voice was gentle. “You don’t deserve someone giving you another chance to do better?”

Keith grit his teeth.

”Look, Keith...” Shiro sighed. “I...” He closed his eyes, regrouping his thoughts. “I would do this for you no matter what,” he finally told him, looking directly at him. “I would give you as much blood as you needed to stay happy and alive. I-” Shiro broke off, taking a deep breath.

”You can’t mean-” Keith started before Shiro glared at him, silencing him.

”I mean it,” Shiro told him, voice firm. “I mean every word, Keith. You deserve the best. And I would do anything to-” He broke off. Then, quietly, almost too quietly. “I love you, Keith. I’m not going to let you die.”

Keith sat there for a moment, shocked by the words. They echoed in his head, almost mocking him, telling him they possibly couldn’t be true. But Shiro smiled a little awkwardly at him, not taking them back. Not quantifying them. Keith leaned in a little, and Shiro raised a hand, running it through his fur as he pulled him closer. Their lips met, and Shiro let himself fall backwards on the bed as his Galra hand stroked down Keith’s body, pulling him close.

  


* * *

  


”Have you tried to shift back to human?” Shiro murmured as he turned to Keith, running a hand down his bare hip.

Languidly, Keith shook his head. “I haven’t. I guess I could have, but... I feel closer to my dam like this.”

Shiro’s hand paused. “Your dam?”

”Oh right, you haven’t heard,” he murmured softly. “Kolivan’s my mom.”

”... huh. Explains a lot.”

Keith smiled drowsily as Shiro kissed him. “Do you want me to be in a human form?” he whispered.

”Mm, just sometimes for missions. I kind of like this form. It’s big.”

”Are you telling me you like a man that can overpower you, Takashi Shirogane?”

Shiro just grinned, pulling Keith on top of him. “Just remember who did all the ordering.”

”Maybe I should gag you,” Keith warned, smiling.

”I’d like to see you try,” Shiro said, smiling back.

Keith chuckled, leaning in to kiss Shiro.

Second chances. Shiro would give him a second chance.

He couldn’t fuck this up.

Keith felt Shiro’s hands run down his back again, and he grinned.

No.

He _would not_ fuck this up again. He’d get Shiro to talk to Kolivan regarding being the lover of a vampire. And if Shiro got sick... Kolivan had a better idea now what to do. They’d figure things out. They could do this.

He loved Shiro too much.

He would not let him go.

The vampire and Galra purred in agreement.

And Keith smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end. Thank you all for... lords. More than you can imagine. More than just reading and leaving kudos and commenting, but for your understanding and support regarding my update schedule these last few days. My uncle passed away Wednesday after fighting for his life for three days. Thank you all, for everything you've done for the duration of this fic. Every single one of you made this happen. Thank you all so much.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing a novel! For more information, check out [this post.](http://tasteofcopperpowder.tumblr.com/post/163340522441/big-news)


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